PeaceBang
The manic mind of the minister -- Auntie Mame Meets Cotton Mather. Blogging about Unitarian Universalism, UU Christian spiritual practice, occasional cultural and political ravings, and the inner life of ministry. PeaceBang is the alter ego of a small town pastor serving an historic New England Unitarian Universalist congregation.
But They’re SUCH Good Kids
July 22, 2005 on 7:54 pm | In Uncategorized |I’m so sick of fawning adults whining that kids are “such good kids” whenever they get caught doing heinous things.
Hazing a classmate until blood comes out of his ears, Coach Someone will inevitably say, “I don’t believe it. These are such good kids.”
Girls hacking their “friend’s” blog while she’s away on vacation and posting such disgusting, explicit smut that the girl, devastated, transfers to another school: “But these are such good kids. It’s just not like them.”
Teens taunt a scrawny kid in the marching band and call him names until he kills himself. “It’s a shame. But really, these are such good kids.”
Another group of SUCH GOOD KIDS vacationing in Nantucket decided last weekend that they didn’t want their pal to have to go off to SAT preparation camp. So they phoned the Nantucket ferry company and said, “Don’t let the ferry leave, or it will blow up.”
The ensuing panic shut down the island from Sunday night until Monday morning, costing hundreds of stranded tourists extra hotel fees and work wages, and the ferry and boat services lost profits. Dozens of local and state police forces were deployed to find the “bomb.”
But,
“These are good kids from good families,” said their lawyer, R. Bradford Bailey. Well, what’ya expect? He’s their mouthpiece. But bet you real money that a whole passel of other whiners are saying the same thing.
You know what? Daphne Bragg and Brendan Reed and Brett Williams aren’t such good kids. I don’t give a hang about their families; their families didn’t do this unbelievably stupid, selfish and damaging thing. Daphne and Brendan and Brett, coming from the best of families and receving the best of educations, are presumably aware that we live in a time of real terrorist threat. I presume they have televisions and that they see the occasional newspaper. Daphne and Brendan and Brett aren’t good kids. They’re indulgent little brats who should be grounded for life.
I’m glad they’re being tried as adults.
No, PeaceBang does not have children, nor does she intend to. She feels that some child-loving adults need to remain child-free in order to retain some level of objectivity about the mishegas of family life, and she could never do that thing called ministry with such energetic enthusiasm if she had squirts of her own at home. She prefers to be that “cool grown-up” that the kids like to hang around with, mostly because she gives them excellent dish on their parents (not applicable for church children, of course).
By the way, I have to say … well, no I won’t. I brag too much on my church. (the kids are mostly really good and cute)
I remember a time in a previous congregation when one of our church teens showed up at the office with a police escort. “Rev. P.B.,” he said. “I’m so glad you’re here. The police were going to call my parents but I asked if they would take me here instead.” Turns out that Clark (name changed) had been busted shoplifting a pack of cigarettes.
I told the cop I would call Clark’s mom and thank you. I put a kindly pastoral hand on Clark’s shoulder. As soon as the cop was out of sight I gave Clark the side of my boot in the tushie, hard.
“THAT’s for stealing,” quoth I.
And then I booted him again.
“And THAT’s for stealing CIGARETTES.”
We talked for awhile (including about my own shoplifting days, and how awful it is to get caught, and how stupid and jackassed it is to do it at all, and how I would make him eat a pint of dirt if I ever found out he’d been smoking) and then I phoned his mother. “I kept him here so you can kill him,” I said.
I bet she didn’t though. He was actually a really good kid.
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I love it when a parent says, “not my son, he’s a good boy.” I have two and trust me, when they screw up I do not justify it.
Let the people that lost a few days wages kick the crap out ‘em and call it even.
Comment by David — July 23, 2005 #
I think that’s a great post, but I dislike kids as a group. Certian kids as individuals (e.g. the Faustlings) can be pretty cool, but on the whole when I’m in public and am around a screamy child, I reach into my purse and run a grateful finger along the Trivora pack.
CC
Comment by Chalicechick — July 23, 2005 #
I’m waiting eagerly for menopause, myself.
Comment by PeaceBang — July 23, 2005 #
Brendan is a good kid, I know him. People make stupid mistakes, doesn’t mean they deserve twenty years in jail.
Comment by mps — August 18, 2005 #
guess what. you dont deserve kids. im friends with one of them, and you know what, they are good kids. people make mistakes. our own president makes mistakes. and those people that lost wages can stop whining. they just act angry so they have something new to complain about. you also dont know the full story of what happened so what right do u have to make those awful comments? all i know is you’re going to have a pretty lonely life when your old and in a nursing home and no one comes to visit you because you didn’t wand to have kids because you hate them. Do you really think these kids deserve jail time? Their lives deserve to be ruinned because of one little mistake that affected a few rich vacationers on Nantucket. Give me a break. Our law enforcement has bigger things to worry about. Quit complainning about things you know nothing about.
Comment by sumjenlee — September 20, 2005 #
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you another example of our educational system’s finest. I count at least 4 misspellings and at least three unbelievably stupid statements. Oh wait, perhaps this is a teen person writing. In that case we’ll just have to hope that time helps provide some maturity… not to mention a spellcheck.
Oh, and sweetheart? If you think that having children means that you’ll be receiving visitors in the nursing home, I hate to disillusion you. I visit people every week in the nursing home whose children are just as selfish, mean and shallow as you are, and who just don’t make the time to visit. Or they’re just plain too busy trying to earn a living in the worst economy we’ve had since you were born.
Now get back to your homework. You got a hella lot of larnin’ to do.
Comment by PeaceBang — September 20, 2005 #
hmm you spend like your whole life on blog websites as an adult. im sure you really benefitted from doing your homework? what’s your high powered profession may I ask? i might guess that you’re fat and lazy and sit at home and eat cheetos and watch comedy central. i’m really impressed at your ability to find typos in blogs, that takes major skill. You didn’t even give a response to my comment either, so I am still under the impression that you think those kids should chill in jail for 50 years. I think that’s disgusting…no one was hurt they screwed up majorly, but they dont deserve an equal sentence to drug dealers or even some murderers. I hope I don’t grow up to be an adult like you who forgets I was ever a teenager. There is no way you did not make at least one mistake as a kid, and if you didn’t you definitely were the kid who had no friends.
Comment by sumjenlee — October 11, 2005 #
PeaceBang, I do agree that people must be held accountable for their actions, even teenagers. However, your generalization that those teens from Connecticut and Nantucket, at least Brendan Reed, are bad kids is at the best ignorant. You discredit your claims by making these generalizations. If you stuck to the claims you were making and stayed away from personal attacks perhaps more people would respect what your saying or take you seriously.
Comment by JoeC — October 22, 2005 #
JoeC, please. The earnestness is killing me. I’m not trying to be “taken seriously” by people who obviously have a personal investment in these particular kids and who are trolling blogs in order to protect them from insult. I stand by my OPINION, which is that their behavior was stupid,destructive and consequential, and that they are not worthy to be whitewashed by their legal mouthpiece as “such good kids.”
I stand by my opinion. I don’t think they’re proverbial good kids. Can you trolls all stop whining now? Go take Brendan out for a burger or something. He’s not my problem and frankly, I’m not impressed with his friends.
Comment by PeaceBang — October 22, 2005 #
You guys have no idea who Brendan, Daphne or Brett are. So everyone critisizing people you have never met should honestly get a life. Who ever wrote this article is so far from the truth it amazes me. So heres a piece of constructive critisim. Go fuck your self peace bang, you heartless whore. You will die alone, with no one beside your death bed, for being such an insensitive cunt. Karma does exist. and you are on the bad end of Karma writing about shit you havent the slighest clue about. So once again, go fuck your self. and have a wonderful life, alone. Oh remember when you meet people online at a dating site, that doesnt count as being a relationship, so all the statements above about you dying alone stand true.
Comment by mpsgirl — December 22, 2005 #
Isn’t she a little charmer, ladies and gentlemen?
Oh mpsgirl, you tire me.
Spewing hateful phrases does not make an argument. Contradicting yourself does not persuade me that you and your friends are anything other than moronic, entitled brats. How stupid do you have to be to attack someone for commenting on the character of someone she’s never met, and then doing the same thing yourself?
I know you’re a kid, but you’re not a toddler.
Let me clarify something for you: when you or your friends make the news, you become, in a sense, public property. A journalist reports something that happened — in this case, a group of teens’ thoughtless, harmful, obnoxious behavior and the legal consequences to them — and the public hears about it. The public then forms opinions, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Calling me a cunt isn’t an effective response to the fact that your friends have been tried and found guilty in the court of public opinion. Making over-dramatic, insipid remarks about karma and dying alone is not going to clear your friends’ names. It just makes you look ashamed, hysterical and very stupid.
P.S. As a minister, I am with people as they’re dying on a frequent basis. I’m sincerely sorry to have to tell you that no matter how happily they were married, no matter how much their children love them, and no matter how many friends they have, most people do, in fact, die alone. In the case of women, their husbands predecease them. If they had children, it’s very likely that the children are busy with lives of their own and can’t keep bedside vigil. Don’t flap your young mouth about matters of which you have no knowledge.
And go wash your mouth out with soap, you junior harridan.
Comment by PeaceBang — December 22, 2005 #