PeaceBang

I know you’ll think this is terribly macabre but t…

I know you’ll think this is terribly macabre but there are times when I’m getting my nails done or something equally as mind-numbing and I think, “when I’m dead I won’t ever have to do this again.”

Stupid Auntie, Stupid Elmo

stupid elmo
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Stupid Elmo.
I went on e-bay last night to acquire a clean, new Elmo toy for my nephew’s birthday and accidentally bid on two dolls. So now he’s getting a little slew of Sesame Street plush figures AND a stupid little stupid Elmo doll which cost 99 stupid cents but (surprise, surprise) TEN BLOODY BUCKS in shipping.

Sister of PeaceBang, I hear you laughing out there.

You know, this must be nothing compared to how parents feel when they send their kid off to college for $25K a semester and find out the kid’s spent every day smoking pot in his dorm room and has a report card full of F’s.

There, I feel better.

Dan’s Faux Pas

Planet Dan cracks me up. He’s so… hapless:

http://www.planetdan.net/blog/2005/11/fountain-soda-faux-pas.htm

This story reminds me of a time I was at a restaurant in Evanston, Illinois (one of the Lettuce Entertain You chain whose name I have forgotten) and salting my fries quite heavily when I glanced up and saw a very disapproving face observing me. He looked to be in his late 60’s, retired family physician type. He actually gave me a little no-no nod, and I stared back at him, still shaking the salt. My friends used to call me Sodium Queen.

Please don’t worry. My blood pressure is fine, I’m off the white stuff, and I prefer a pinch of fleur de sel nowadays, or Herbamare. And fries are no longer a part of my regular diet. *sob*

Thanksgiving 2005

“Please drop some turkey”
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

She’s thinking one thing and one thing only: “Please drop some turkey.”

Meanwhile, in the kitchen:

This is what happens when the Lutherans get into the Riesling:

Santa Claus is Coming To Town

Santa Claus is Coming To Town
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

You might think it’s too early to start blogging about Christmas but I’m just going to have to remind you that tomorrow is the first Sunday in Advent.

I’m not sure why — I think it was Derek’s idea — but we all watched “Santa Claus is Coming To Town” on Thanksgiving night, really late.

I think it’s a bad idea to watch these things with seminarians and ministers who feel the necessity of exegeting the theological meaning behind the whole thing.

However, it should be said that this particular special really packs an emotional and spiritual wallop for PeaceBang, who always weeps when the little children of Sombertown gather suspiciously but hopefully around Santa as he sings the intro to “If You Sit On My Lap Today (A Kiss a Toy Is the Price You’ll Pay).”

I know we’re a bit over the top but there really is a beautiful message in this one about grace and universalism (Santa checks the list for who’s naughty and who’s nice and decides, “Well, I guess they’re all pretty nice.”). We have to notice that Winter Warlock (”Call me Winter… please”) loses his powers when he is given the gift for which his heart has always yearned.

And I dare you not to shed a tear when the audacious writers of this screenplay just come right out and say that the whole tradition of giving gifts on Christmas Eve comes from Kris Kringle and his beloved Jessica getting married that night and placing their gifts to one another under the evergreen trees. You thought that was from the Bible, didn’t you? And you thought the Little Drummer Boy was from the Bible, too, didn’t you?
Me too. That’s what happens when you’re a little Unitarian kid getting your theological education from Rankin Bass claymation holiday specials.

Post Thanksgiving

Andre Rieu
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Well, it’s Saturday afternoon, dark and cold,and I said goodbye to the last of my weekend guests an hour or so ago. The Thanksgiving meal was terrific, the company lovely, the brandy pecan pie pan is still soaking in the sink because I have never known how to make a pecan pie that didn’t get gooey ooze all over everything, and the turkey soup is bubbing away on the stove.

We had a great day and then Friday we went to Plymouth to see the fake Mayflower and the Rock, and we bought souvenirs and then went into the city to have a classic New England chowdah dinner at Durgin Park.

Thanksgiving Live Blogging

The 16.8 lb. turkey is on the counter coming to room temp, the cole slaw is made, the pies are made, the English trifle is made. The stuffing is assembled, the mashed and sweet potatoes all set for peeling. Green bean casserole needs to be popped in the oven. The table is set. The boys are upstairs asleep and Drew just arrived at South Station and will be here soon. I’ve got Jacqueline Schwab’s piano music on in the parlor, and the Ditty-Bops on in the kitchen. I’m sitting in the living room watching Christina Applegate showcase her thoroughly mediocre dancing chops and cringing every time she goes flat (often) singing “I’m a Brass Band” from Cy Coleman’s adorable music, “Sweet Charity.”

Only in America would the big Thanksgiving celebration — a holiday inaugurated by the most orthodox of Christians for the purpose of giving praise to God — be kicked off by a fabled hooker in a red dress, kicking so high her panties show.

But I admit I cried at the beginning of the parade as the credits rolled and before I could become distracted by Katie Couric’s really cute knit gloves (where’d she get those)? What a list of participants. You got Jewish movie star Adrien Brody. You got LeeAnn Rimes and Carrie Underwood representing the country music world. You got Jae (from “Queer Eye”) and Tommy Tune for the gay contingent. You got Aaron Neville and Harry Connick, Jr. of New Orleans and all kinds of folks from the Gulf Coast. You got the casts of “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” and “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” and ya got 450 kids in pajamas from Camp Broadway twirling around with those big, fake Jon Benet Ramsey smiles, and I love it. It’s thirty nine degrees out there, SMILE. BABY! SING OUT, LOUISE!

Children have to learn that performance is suffering, and we love it anyway.

Uh-oh, gotta go rub herbed butter all over the turkey. Time to get the rubber gloves. Try not to get too excited.

(actually, if that excites you I don’t even want to know about it)

You know I like to plan way ahead, so I’m already …

You know I like to plan way ahead, so I’m already wondering how I can top last April’s Easter fabulousness: http://peacebang.blogspot.com/2005/03/my-easter-sermon-excerpt-with-love.html

I wonder if this guy is available:

I’m thinking, Lord of the Dance?

Contra "One World Religion"

In class last week, we were discussing a dissertation proposal by an African-American pastor who is trying to develop a project on the similarities between Buddhism and Christianity so he can better minister to his Cambodian congregants.

As he was agonizing through the concept of the project with the group, and trying to respect his religious call to convert his people to the gospel faith, and the class was feeling uncomfortable with his seeming ambivalence about the difference between assimilation and conversion, a Korean student said, quite vehemently and in his short, eloquent way,

“I don’t know why you’re trying to find the ways that Buddhism and Christianity are the same. I was raised a Buddhist. I became a Christian because it is not Buddhism. In Buddhism, I learn that I am the one who can make my own salvation. But I do not think I can make my own salvation, and that is why I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. I choose Christianity because it is different. If I want to have the similarities between Buddhism and Christianity, I would stay a Buddhist.”

Boy, did that shut everyone up for a good minute.

This is at the heart of why I have always been leery of the whole “one-world-religion” brand of universalism that became so popular in the 1950’s.
(As opposed to classical Christian Universalism, about which Boy In the Bands speaks here: http://www.universalistchurch.net/boyinthebands/archives/john-murray-the-obscure/)
There’s no way to really do one-world-religion with integrity unless the whole world embraces the idea, and Lord knows everyone in the world doesn’t think this is a good, worthy or legitimate idea. What ends up happening in “one world religion” stuff is that its adherents create another religious entity of their own, which usually smells something like “White European Liberal Feminist Psuedo-Version of Your Exotic Religion We Don’t Know Much About, Taken Out of a Cultural Context We Also Don’t Know Much About.”

I don’t have the energy tonight to discuss this in any more detail, I just wanted to share that moment in class with you. I am still thinking about it.

Another Mondo Bizarro Movie Recommendation from S.O.P.B.

Seriously. Read the synopses. You will trip out.

http://www.errolmorris.com/television/