PeaceBang

Hate Crime in New Bedford

There was a horrific attack at a gay bar the other night in New Bedford, MA. You can read about it at Dan Harper’s blog:

http://www.danielharper.org/blog/

The perpetrator is still at large, and three men are seriously wounded, one critically. I was disturbed by a quote that appeared in the AOL article on the attack, wherein a witness says, “I’m not surprised. It was either this or a firebomb through the window.”
Read it here, at the very end:
http://tinyurl.com/d9qf8

Seems to me that this quote was not essential to the story and only provides more suggestions for violence. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

I’m wondering about the comment offered by a representative for the Marriage Equality Coalition of the South Coast, who said, basically, that the denial of the right to marry has given some people the impression that gays are second class citizens (and ostensibly open targets for violent attacks).

I have to say that although I can understand the representative’s desire to connect marriage equality with violent hate crimes against gays, I think it was a mistake in this case. Violent homophobia has been with us long before the fight for marriage equality, and it seems somehow out of place and maybe even a bit disingenuous to connect this attack to marriage equality. When someone comes into a bar and machete hacks and shoots gay men, it’s not about marriage rights, it’s about the right to be alive.

The police found Nazi and anti-Semitic literature in the perpetrator’s room. I think if there had been a Jewish bar in New Bedford, he may just as easily decided to commit his acts of violence there. Hatred is hatred. It could be that this guy was motivated by the recent Massachusetts marriage equality battle to start collecting Nazi propaganda, and that the marriage equality issue in the news fanned the flames of his homophobia to psychotic heights, but I tend to doubt it.

All of which leads me to ask, and I’m embarrrassed that I don’t know: is there an existing gay rights movement that isn’t tied into marriage equality? Are there gay rights organizations, in fact, that aren’t working on marriage equality issues? And that don’t even support marriage equality? Twenty years or so I remember a level of in-fighting (or perhaps arguing is a better word, or struggling) about the issue among gay groups, but things might have changed a lot by now.

There’s an interesting article in this month’s Out magazine about the gay male community’s single-phobia, which I found particularly interesting (of course). And I would like to officially thank Fran for the gift subscription.

Hugh’s Harem

I crawled into bed early last night and watched “The Girls Next Door,” a guilty pleasure reality show about the girls who live in the Playboy Mansion. I had seen it once before and thought it was giggly, boobie fun. The show focuses on the three special girlfriends of Hugh Hefner and they’re so shockingly plastic, blonde and Barbie-ish that it was fun to spy on their lives. They also seem like nice girls, even if somewhat emotionally stunted.

Last night’s episode was about how the three of them wanted to go visit another Playmate friend in Las Vegas. Again, vapid fun. We had shots of them waking up at 4:30 a.m. to catch their flight, the crisis of one of them not being able to find the Victoria’s Secret bag with their friend’s birthday gift in it, shots of them arriving in Vegas and marveling at the “Hugh Hefner Boulevard” sign, and shots of them comparing breasts poolside (”Mine are so new they haven’t really settled down yet,” one says, matter-of-factly. “They’re just sitting there.”).

All inocuous enough, until one of them confesses to the camera that Hef likes to have them all back at the Mansion by 9 p.m. every night unless he’s with them. It’s more than a preference, actually, it’s a house rule. They have a 9 p.m. curfew. These adult women have a 9 p.m. curfew because of the past indiscretions of Playboy Bunny mansion dwellers.

Throughout the bunnies’ day frolicking in Vegas, one of them (Holly, the prettiest) constantly phones back to the mansion to assure Hef that they miss him and love him. Dessicated ole Hef seems slightly bored by it all, and slightly amused, replying “I love you” to every reassuring coo coming from one of his prize possessions.

Perhaps you think that these gals are living large, that their arrangement with Hef is just as economically beneficial to them as it is sexually beneficial to him. Think again. “We don’t get a big allowance,” quoth one bunny, as she frets about the loss of the Victoria’s Secret bag of gifts. “I spent, like twenty bucks on make-up for her!” Another reveals that the girls shopped for the cheapest airfare to Vegas and were pleased to find really inexpensive seats on Southwest Airlines. This didn’t sound like product placement to me; it was a comment tossed off and barely audible.

I’m guessing that the bunnies have their expenses covered when they’re engaged in Hef-approved activities, like appearing in public with him and posing nude for his publications. They probably think that being associated with him and Playboy enterprises guarantees them big bucks when they shoot out on their own modeling or acting or whatever other kind of careers they may pursue. And I hope they’re right. None of them are exquisitely beautiful or dewily delicious — they’re all the generic, over-tanned inflatable doll types, and in Kendra’s case, obviously none too bright. If they’re hoping for a career beyond “The Girls Next Door” I advise them to get on it, unless they’re assuming they’ll land rich hubbies (a pretty safe bet) — and wind up overly-tanned Hollywood divorcees (another pretty safe bet).

The 9:00 p.m. curfew is what really curled my lip. I know Hugh Hefner has made his fortune exploiting women who are lining up to be exploited by him, but I wasn’t aware that he was in the habit of keeping them prisoners in his own personal harem. Yuck and double yuck, Hugh, you dried up snake.

I’d like to track these gals in twenty years and see how they’re doing financially. One of them has an advanced degree and another is studying in some kind of program. It’s 20-year old Kendra I’m worried about; the youngest and least attractive of the the three.

By the way, I wonder what the polyamory people think of Hugh’s arrangement with these three “special” girlfriends?

Sari Will Be Very Upset At This, Too

This upsets me even more than using human drug mules, because at least they get paid:

http://tinyurl.com/95xcd

Five Months From Now, Outside the Whirlwind

parsonage
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

It’s crazy to start thinking about the summer already but of course one must if one doesn’t want to get booked into a thousand little commitments that eat time that should be largely devoted to rest and renewal.

Last summer I thought I wasn’t making big commitments by agreeing to preach two Sunday services in neighboring churches and an ordination out of town, lead a workshop at a local seminary and take a summer intensive at said seminary. I thought writing one paper wouldn’t be a big deal. Yo ho ho.

This year by July 1st I will have buried an uncle, started serious coursework for my D.Min., joined a new music group(we’re recording a CD this weekend), traveled to Lousiana, turned 40, organized a concert, traveled to Spain, taught a semester-long seminary course (!), led a GA workshop for my district, and been a full-time parish minister for a vibrant and growing congregation. I tell you, I have said a pleasant “NO THANKS” to every request to teach, preach, preside, and travel this summer. I want to do nothing but visit with friends and family, do serious hammock time, and read.

My housesitter took this photo of the parsonage while I was away. I think to myself, “These are the good years. This is home. Finally.”

I deeply believe that every minister serves at the pleasure of the congregation, and sometimes its whim, and should never entirely relax or make assumptions of job security. But for now… for now… I believe I am home.

It may be that I am looking at June/July of 2006 as a time to finally relax the hyper vigilance and extreme productivity of the past five or so years. Why? Because while it may be exciting to live at this pace, it’s probably not spiritually healthy. I know this because even as I keep the summer calendar open, I find myself developing slightly manic home improvement obsessions for the summer.

I don’t *really* need to re-do the living room. I don’t *really* need to do more than my usual slapdash gardening. I don’t *really* need to organize all my books alphabetically.

What I *really* need to do is learn how to listen to the early mornings, learn to live with myself outside of the busy, buzzy constant affirmations of the church and seminary beehive, and to confront the silence of my own soul.

It’s only February 1st but I’m craving it with all my heart, even knowing how lonesome and hard it will be at times to just stop and step outside the whirlwind.

I am praying tonight for two colleagues who are on sabbatical in India. One went without plan, map or itinerary! Brave or crazy!