PeaceBang

Great Books: Anne And the Sand Dobbies

I just reread a favorite book from my childhood, Anne and the Sand Dobbies, written by John Coburn and published by Seabury Press in 1964.

It’s the story of an eleven year-old boy whose baby sister dies, and then his beloved dog Bonnie dies.

Death is treated as a painful reality, but not something that totally incapacitates us or our families. The family in this story is real and lovely: they argue, they eat meals together, they talk in the car, they go to church. They summer on Cape Cod. The mother goes into the hospital for two weeks and the kids eat cereal every night, but they’re fine. The community is a quiet and real support. Throughout all the sorrow, the narrator feels safe. He is treated as a human being for whom sorrow and death will be part of life, and is not coddled and protected by his parents. It’s a very refreshing depiction of family life, or should I say, the way family life should be.

The language is a bit dated (e.g., the 16 year old son says, “Golly” and “Beats me” a lot) but the treatment of death and community is wonderful, refreshing, and emotionally moving without being the least bit sentimental.

I think this book had a huge influence on me as a child. It must have. I read it and re-read it but I hadn’t remembered at all that this was a story about a Christian family who goes to church and talks about their beliefs and struggles with their skepticism. There are wonderful conversations in the book about what happens to the soul after we die, and it’s all grounded in humanistic concerns and beautifully simple. The parents tell the kids that Anne will be cremated with a loving, no-nonsense honesty that a lot of today’s parents might find inspiring. When the baby dies, there’s just a family being very sad and questioning God together. No one has a nervous breakdown or an existential crisis. They are eminently decent to one another. the doctor makes house calls. Their minister gives an amazing homily during the interment of the ashes which goes, in part:

“Now I want to say just one word. This is a terrible thing — for a lovely two-year-old girl to die. She never hurt anybody; she didn’t do anything but bring pleasure to people; and she did it simply because she was…

“I don’t like it. You don’t like it. Nobody likes it. We all really hate it. We hate death. I’d like to tell God where to get off for letting this happen. Maybe you already have. I hope you have.

“But once you’ve done that, then what are you going to do next? You’re not God. We’re not God. You can tell him to go to the devil, but he’s still God. God is God. He just is. Even if he didn’t do anything, he is everything. He’s the very ground we walk on and live in. He’s the air we breathe. He’s the height and the depths. Right down to the bottom of us, he is there. He is. … Wherever we are, he is. Wherever life is, he is. And — this is the point I want to make — wherever death is, he is too.

“So what can you do — the only thing you can do — is to give him your life and to give him your death. So give him Anne — her life and her death — freely, willingly and gladly, if you can do it. She’s with him. She is in him, and she is all right. Anybody with God is all right. So don’t try to hang onto her. You don’t own her. She’s God’s. You can’t hold her. What you can do is to give her to God. And if you can do it gracefully, so much the better.

“And if you do, that’s when somehow she comes back to live with you. I don’t know why this is so, but she becomes a part of you and of life through her death, even more somehow than when she did things in her life here. So if you possibly can, give her freely to God. Then you’ll be able to have her to live with you as you never had before.

“I think that this is simply the way life is. I’m not trying to argue; I’m not trying to persuade anybody; I’m just trying to describe the way things are. This is the way I see it.”

“When we respond to love — especially when we let it control us — then we belong to that world where God is in absolute control. And the way he extends his control on the earth is as we love one another and offer ourselves to his control. So when we offer Anne to God, we can believe that Jesus says ‘All is well with Anne’ because we know that all is well with people who are with him. We then can get on with our primary business, which is living right here and being ourselves right here and trying to love a little bit better than we have before…. So let us get on with living and loving, which is the business of life, and thank God for everything. Especially Anne.”

It’s a honey of a book. I’ve found a few copies by googling it. You can, too.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I get a lot of my ne…

I’m embarrassed to admit that I get a lot of my news updates from the filthy-mouthed Rude Pundit: http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/
The thing is, he has excellent links. I go for the links. It’s a quick way to get hooked into the hot issues, like the immigration bill and protests in CA.

I used to think The Rude Pundit was a contemporary Marquis de Sade but now I don’t. I get the point: he’s pornographic because our leaders are obscene — but it all winds up sounding filthy and juvenile and sometimes misogynist.

I’m so tired. Good night.

Anti-Hummer Rant

I’m too tired to read all of this now, but the first few paragraphs made me laugh out loud:

http://tinyurl.com/9afkr

Horrible Clothes This Season

I went to the mall (the maul) tonight to scout some clothes and was amazed at how ugly everything was. Macy’s: ugly. Lord & Taylor: ugly. Lane Bryant: ugly.
Not just ugly, depressing. The colors for spring seem to be something I would call Vomitous Autumnal Hues. It’s even worse than two years ago’s lime green trend.

There are these hideous capri pants everywhere, just the right length for oompa-loompas, and something they’re calling GAUCHOS. This caused me great consternation as I recalled the last time gauchos came around it was the 70’s and they even made my little sixth grade self look like something that could set sail with one stiff wind. Nowadays gauchos are short pants that flare mid-calf. They’re rather entertaining, but I’m not sure that entertaining is a quality I seek in a pair of trousers.

Then there’s this third offensive trend that I am calling Brokeback Mountain Girl, which features frilly shirts and vaguely cowboy-esque vests and lots and lots of lace. Lace on skirts, lace on t-shirts, lace on jeans. This stuff looked okay during the “Urban Cowboy” phase when we were young and dewy and looked like Debra Winger. Now we’re old and tired and fat, and even though we love our cowboy boots, the bustiers just make us look like Miss Kitty wandered into the church office.

To the fashion designers out there, let me whisper this in your ear: Excuse me, sirs and madames. There is an obesity epidemic in this country, in case you hadn’t heard. You could be helping motivate us to lose weight by designing items that are actually flattering, like well-tailored trousers and elegant blouses and smart blazers with defined waists. Would a modest sleeve be too much to ask? Something that isn’t ruched and tied, for the love of Diana Vreeland?

I’m going to the hairdresser tomorrow morning, as I feel lately as though I’ve been hit hard with the ugly stick.

For Your Light Lunch Reading

It’s getting hot up in here, ya’ll!

http://peacebang.blogspot.com/2006/03/universalism-and-gods-forgiveness.html#comments

Universalism and God’s Forgiveness

So after I got home from my DATE last night…

…I opened my mail to find that a friend had sent me a passel of programs from recent cultural outings and among them was the Baltimore Opera Company’s program of the new opera “Dead Man Walking,” based on Sister Helen Prejean’s book, and of course, you all saw the movie with Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon, right? And you felt shattered by it? I know I did. I watched it with a church group and had to really fight myself not to be found in the fetal position on the floor when the lights came back up.

So this opera was composed by Jake Heggie and the libretto was written by the marvelous Terrence McNally, whose dialogue I have been delighted to speak on the stage (even though his character Chloe Haddock from “Lips Together, Teeth Apart” has one glaring inconsistency that makes for one very difficult actor’s moment, but I digress).

This from the synopsis of the opera “Dead Man Walking:”

“On the night of his execution, Sister Helen and [convicted murderer] Joe make small talk as she tries to convince him to seek forgiveness. Joe’s family arrives for a tearful farewell. Left alone, Sr. Helen ponders the situation. The victim’s parents arrive to witness the execution and chastise Sr. Helen for siding with Joe… As Joe is prepared for execution, Sr. Helen continues to press Joe to confront his guilt. As she continues to probe, he breaks down and confesses, begging for forgiveness. Sr. Helen assures him that he has it — not just hers, but God’s.”

I read this and every fibre of my being went WHOA! Wait a minute, Sister Helen! You may speak for yourself in forgiving Joseph DeRocher for brutally murdering two young people, but to deign to speak for GOD!?? I’m so sorry, but even though you are Joe’s spiritual director, do you have the right to speak for the Almighty in this case? Even if it comforts a dying man?

This is really hard for me.

As I have said before, I am trying to be a Universalist. I think it’s a far more complicated theological tradition than can be summed up in “all souls shall be restored to harmony with the Divine” (although I believe that to be true). But although I believe that God knows what to do with Joseph De Rocher’s soul, and while I don’t believe in Hell (and frankly, the concept of karma has never held much sway with me, unless you mean in the sense that we build our own spiritual fate in this lifetime by our behaviors here in this lifetime), I have no idea if God literally forgives us for murder.

I know the Lord’s Prayer, and I believe that Jesus was certainly pointing toward a forgiving God, but let’s not forget about that contingency clause “as we forgive those who trespass against us.” In the case of a murderer who’s going to the Death Room any minute, does he have the time to forgive the state for executing him? Does he have time to forgive himself for destroying so much life and causing so much pain?

In the Jewish tradition, forgiveness can only be granted by those who have been harmed. Therefore, a murderer holds the most profound guilt of any criminal: he can never be forgiven in this lifetime. I may be wrong about that, and I hope Jewish readers will correct me if I am, but if that’s true, I’m more in step with Jewish tradition on forgiveness than with Sr. Helen Prejean.

My Unitarian sense of self-culture and responsibility leads me to say that there are moments that cannot be redeemed by a soft word, that there are deeds too terrible to be salved by promises of God’s forgiveness. To me, it is much more an affirmation of Joe De Rocher’s dignity to let him walk with full awareness the path of responsibility for his own actions. As Universalists we can say that God loves him, loves the creation that he is, and perhaps even grieves with him, but can we say that God forgives him?

I hope you’ll comment.

Sound the Church Bells

Pardon me, but I can’t blog any more right now because I HAVE A DATE.

Thanks and The Rabbi and the Kopeks

First of all, let me say that I’m so glad I took roll call yesterday, as it has been fascinating, rewarding and humbling to hear about ya’ll out there in PeaceBang Land. For those who know me in Real Life and find the PB persona a bit irreverent and salty-tongued, I appreciate your understanding. I apologize for the cuss words. Believe me, I was just as surprised as you to find that God would call such a salty-tongued big-mouthed bad-tempered broad to the ministry. I yam what I am. In Real Life, I’m much more well-behaved (well, a little more).

THAT said, thank you all for reading PeaceBang. I had no idea you were out there. That’s kewl. I am honored. I said that already. But I mean it.

We were talking the other day about asking for money in church. Jess posted a comment about what it was like being very short of cash in a generally wealthy congregation here: http://tinyurl.com/f4pj5

She reminded me of a story about a rabbi whose congregant has no money to host a proper celebration for his son’s bris (circumcision, which, believe it or not, is a big party). The rabbi pulls the man aside. He says, “Listen, Shmuel. I have 100 kopeks that I owe to a man in the city. I wondered if you might take it to him.” Schmuel says, “Rabbi, I have no idea when I’ll be in the city. I’m sorry, I can’t help you.” The rabbi puts his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Shmuel, it would be such a help to me if you could take this 100 kopeks and, you know, when you get to the city you’ll deliver it for me. If you shouldn’t happen to be going to the city right away, that’s fine. There’s no rush at all. Whenever you get there.” He puts the money in the man’s pocket, and the man is able to throw his son a wonderful celebration. When Schmuel goes later to ask the rabbi where exactly the kopeks should be delivered, the rabbi says, “Shah, I have no idea what you’re talking about!” The man understands, and one day he proudly goes to the rabbi and gives him 100 kopeks “to help others.”

(Maybe it’s rubles. Maybe it’s not kopeks. I’m repeating this from memory. Also, the guy’s name isn’t necessary Schmuel. Maybe it’s Moishe. Or Abe. I don’t know.)

I love this story. I think that the minister has to keep her eye out for people who are struggling financially and won’t say a thing about it. They’re often the ones contributing in so many important ways and bringing cans of tuna to the food pantry, to boot. Who’s to say that the minister can’t send an anonymous contribution from the Minister’s Discretionary Fund to such a person or family?
I sure have. We shouldn’t be waiting for people to come to us. Spread it around, spread it around. When I’m giving my money to a charitable cause I’m giving my life force. I don’t want it to sit in a bank account.

Plus, we shouldn’t be nickle and dime-ing our congregations to death.

Roll Call!!

My “hit” counter is very misleading, and I have determined that very few people are actually reading this blog. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop using it as a healthy release for my mania, but it does make me think a bit.

These are the people I assume might be reading this blog on a fairly regular basis (in no particular order):

Boy In the Bands - Philocrites - Peregrinato - Chalice Chick - Fausto - H. Sofia (And Her Traveling Self) - Adam (Unity) - the UU Enforcer - Greenseagirl - Jaume - This Girl Remembers - Chutney - Kim - Jason - Jess - Paul W. - Steve Caldwell - Parisa - Sister of PeaceBang - Bex - Mel - David - Mikey H. - Dooner - Jess - Clyde - Roger (Cheerfully) O. Kuhrt - Slyypper — Dame Olympia

That’s 29 people. Let me know if you’re #30. Who’s out there? How many PeaceBang buttons should I order for GA? Who wants to design the logo?

Julian of Norwich’s Cat

Julian of Norwich
Originally uploaded by Peacebang.

Peregrinato posted this…

and I can’t help but think this:

The mouth isn’t white enough, but the toes are identical!