PeaceBang

MLB All-Star Game

Can I just break genre for a moment to gripe about the All-Star Game last night on Fox?

My beefs:

It was scheduled to begin at 8 pm but we didn’t get started on the game until almost 9:00, due to a bunch of pre-game garbage.

The telecast was a mess: too many flash-backs and extraneous videos to be able to focus on the game. Fire that producer! We don’t need extensive footage of the guys in kayaks outside the park and their swimming dog, okay? We just want to watch the GAME.

Did Barry Bonds need to VELCRO himself to Willie Mays’ side in every shot of Mays? Yea, BB, we KNOW he’s your godfather. We still think you’re a juiced up disgrace to the game. Go away.

Was it not obvious to everyone that pretty much all the players had partied ’til 3AM the night before and were playing like a bunch of Keystone Cops? Why aren’t the sports writers covering this? How many errors should we reasonably expect to see at an MLB All-Star game, fer cryin’ out loud?? It’s one thing if the ball has a wicked spin on it and you’ve contorted yourself like Gumby in an effort to get your mitt around it and fail. It’s another thing entirely when the ball goes rolling by at about O miles per hour and you, hung-over at third base, watch it roll past your feet with an expression on your face like Homer Simpson thinking about donuts. GET THAT BALL, Son! That’s why you earn eleventy billion dollars a year!

Petty, but…what’s with those stupid sleeveless jerseys on the Pirates players? And Cardinals management, take a cue from the Orioles in how to design uniforms for bird-named teams that don’t look totally dorky. We know who you are. We don’t need the six inch red bird all over your shirt to make it more obvious. What’s next? Eye patches and big gold hoops for the Pirates?

AL Manager Jim Leyland, how could you KEEP FRANCISCO RODRIGUEZ ON THE MOUND FOR THAT LONG IN THE 9TH AFTER PULLING J.J. PUTZ AS FAST AS YOU DID? Do you care NOTHING for my coronary health?