PeaceBang

Comrade Kevin Testifies, And, What Heals Yo(uU)?

More from a once-dedicated UU who has chosen to leave us.

As I said there, I appreciate his honesty and courage in speaking his truth.

And with this, I begin a new category: “EX-Unitarian Universalists.”

I am particularly interested in Comrade Kevin’s comment about finding healing in Christianity. I, too, find that Christianity’s emphasis on a healing inspiring and illuminating. I am also aware that many UUs find healing in non-theistic and non-Christian Unitarian Universalism. So I’d like to hear about that, for those of you who would like to share how you’ve experienced healing in on of our communities.

“Recreational Debate.” Ouch.

This comment appeared today in response to my July 3 post:

I am sad - I have searched the UU community where I live and found I cannot stay in the UU church without spiritually starving to death. Perhaps there are UU churches elsewhere that are quite different, but that is not the case here. I have begun to explore the Episcopal churches and have been welcome with open arms, spiritually fed while not spiritually oppressed, find that the church is involved in social activism and supportive of their diverse congregations (ethnicity, sexual orientation etc). I thought about staying with the UUs and working toward and hoping for change, but I did not have the physical, mental, emotional or spiritual stamina to do so. My sadness stems from the rejection I experienced in the UU community when I tried to express my concerns. Sad that I could not find a home with them, sad that they have painted themselves into the corner of “my way or no way.” They are a glum lot entrenched in their social activism to the point of the ridiculous - and much of what they label social activism is simply “recreational debate” which is just a wheel spinning going nowhere. I also feel betrayed, the websites I visited from these UU churches assured me how welcoming and inclusive they were.I hope UU’s as a whole find a direction that brings balance and hope for their movement.
I want to thank you, PB, for acknowledging these shortcomings.
KC

Thank you, KC, for speaking your truth and giving us some bruising feedback. May you experience God’s peace and strength with your new community.

Enchantment By Local Congregation: Why Would Christians Be Interested In UUism?

David asks a question about why Christians would choose to come to a UU congregation. My answer is simple: Why not?

But I know that will not satisfy my readers, so let me expound!!

First, I am a non-sectarian at heart who believes in Enchantment By Local Congregation. Every individual congregation –of any denomination –has its own energy, its own spirit, and its own mojo made up in part by its current membership and in part by its past. This energy is apparent at first visit to most even moderately sensitive people, which is to say that theology is only part of the reason people come to, and come back to, any church or fellowship.

I always say to seekers, “We hope you find a spiritual home here –that would be wonderful — but even more than that I hope you find a spiritual home somewhere because you clearly want one, and that desire is dear to God’s heart. If we don’t feel right for you, don’t give up until you find your home.”

Why do Christians come to a UU church? Maybe they dig our social justice commitments. Maybe they saw our rainbow flag. Maybe they’re inspired by the minister’s sermons. Maybe the community is just so loving that it doesn’t matter whether or not the congregation is populated by Bible-reading, Jesus followin’ Christians. (What assumptions are we making about “Christians” in the first place?) Maybe the religious education programs are awesome. Maybe the building is gorgeous and the music program inspiring. Maybe they have fabulous potlucks and show fascinating movies and have great conversations. Maybe they have the best Christmas Eve service in town, or the most consistently emotionally moving funerals. Maybe someone was friendly and caring to them when they called for directions to the autumn fair, or maybe their youth group rocks.

I think it’s fair to say that seekers look first for loving community and inspiring worship and don’t really learn about the specificity of theological tradition until quite a bit later. Does the average unchurched or garden-variety Christian really even notice right away that we’re not “exactly” Christian? We meet at the customary hour of worship, we sing hymns, we maintain a Protestant liturgical tradition, we have rituals like candles of sharing and chalice lightings, we hear a sermon, we receive the benediction, we have coffee hour. A seeker might notice, gee, they don’t talk about God a lot here, and I didn’t notice any Bible readings. But that would be secondary to “But wow, everyone welcomed me, I loved the music, the building is beautiful and obviously well-cared for, the minister’s message was thought-provoking, the prayers spoke to my soul, and I love that they include the children in worship.”

This is Enchantment by Local Congregation. It happens when we are living our values of love and inclusion, sharing our joys and sorrows as one people, walking by a covenant of compassion and faithfulness, and creating a beautiful ministry together. Unless a seeker is specifically avoiding Christianity or has been terribly wounded by some other denomination and has heard that the UUs “aren’t like that,” they’re quite likely to be a cultural Christian who was drawn to us because we were nearby, we had a nice ad in the paper or a good website, or someone they trust said we were a good church.

In my experience, this describes the vast majority of our visitors and new members. They aren’t specifically looking for the church of non-believers or the “religion for the non-religious.” In fact, the inherent contradiction of that position just confuses them (”Why would non-religious people come to church at all?” is the question I get all the time).

If we assume that Unitarian Universalism should primarily concern itself with providing a haven for wounded atheists or religion rejectors, then it certainly bears asking why Christians would affiliate with the UUs. If we assume that Unitarian Universalism is one of many rich religious options for thinking people who are reverent and hungry for community, yet skeptical of traditional doctrines, we’re describing the majority of American society today — many of whom are nominally Christian even if theologically Undecided, and millions more of whom should be finding a spiritual home among us.

Friday Cat Blogging

And for Scott Wells:

(Photos courtesy of LOLCats.com)

Happy Anniversary!

Happy anniversary to Jonathan and Scott, my little D.C. Moo Cows!!

Whither Independent Affiliates Of the UUA ?

There has been a lot of blogging about the demise of the Independent Affiliates of the UUA, much of it promoting the theory that the UUs for Polyamorous Awareness led the UUA board to call into question the entire IA program. In other words, since they had no clear criteria by which to deny the Polyamorists IA status, they put the kibosh on everyone.

That’s an interesting theory, but since I don’t know whether or not it’s true, I can only report that it’s “the word on the street.” It is also “the word on the street” that one large congregation threatened in no uncertain terms to disaffiliate from the UUA if the Polys were granted official IA status, so that may have had an influence. My sources on that latter bit of business are quite good. In other words, if this is gossip, it’s extremely widespread gossip throughout the association by now. As The Lively Tradition suggests, in the absence of transparency on this issue, those of us who care about the Independent Affiliates are left guessing, and that’s not good.

As one of our most esteemed elder statesmen asked at one of our IA events, “Since when does the UUA board consider it a big problem to have to communicate with groups?” He also said, “I remember a time when, if the Association began acting this much like a full-out denomination, we would have told them where to get off.”

I can tell you this: from what I’ve heard, and what I feel myself, UU Buddhists, Jews, Pagans, Humanists and Christians — all of whom have beloved, thriving Independent Affiliate groups, are hardly at all interested in becoming one big organization of UUs Who Still Care About Theology. Not even if they get a cute name like the BuddhiHumiChristiJewPas.

But geez, can you imagine the GA booth?
And the tee-shirt?

P.S.

To the person who asked why Christians “stay” in Unitarian Universalism, let me suggest two short answers:

1. Since Unitarianism and Universalism both have expicitly and exclusively Christian origins, your question seems a bit staggering to begin with. Those of us who care about, and have fallen in love with, the Unitarian and Universalist theological tradition have every reason to hope — and to expect– that those traditions might actually be known and honored in Unitarian Universalist congregations. Crazy, I know.

2. Some of us, myself included, were born and raised Unitarian Universalist. Why should we leave? Upwards of 90% of cradle UUs do leave, of course — is it the Association’s desire that more of us should go? Many UU Christians were actually raised UU, much to many people’s shock. Therefore, we don’t have the Christophobia that so many come-outers have, and furthermore, we actually believed it when the faith of our childhood taught us that we were free to follow the dicates of our conscience, religiously speaking.

What I LIKED About GA: All Dressed Up and Lookin’ Like Family

Since a few of you asked:

1. I loved Barbara Pescan and Carl Scovel’s 25 and 50 year sermon at Ministry Days. LOVED them.

2. I loved the UU Christian Fellowship Communion Service, for which I crafted the liturgy and co-officiated with Tom Schade, who gave a wonderful sermon. The best part was giving communion to so many people who come with tears in their eyes and such a deep hunger for this ancient ritual — a ritual that wasn’t designed to resemble an ancient ritual but actually IS one, that doesn’t carefully omit words and phrases that might offend, but that just retells a story that they know and can make their own and invites them to the table as they are, with all their doubts and translating, all their skepticism and all their frailty. Jesus doesn’t care about any of our doubts and linguistic gymnastics, he just wants us for the work of love and justice. As I said before, in an earlier post, we UUs tend to look at people and see victims. Jesus looks at people and sees disciples. It’s no wonder our Communion services get more and more crowded every year.

3. I loved the UUCF Hymn Sing on Saturday night. For the person who asked whether I feel especially nourished by my time with that group, the answer is an emphatic YES. I have been involved with the UUCF since I was an active Wiccan in seminary (yes, I once self-identified as a Transcendentalist Christian Witch! And only half-jokingly!) and have been held in the bosom of UUism through that group since then. I was on the UUCF board for a time, and take pride in having been one of the people who worked extremely hard to make our GA offerings better and bigger. I am also extremely proud to have been on the planning team for our first ever REVIVAL conference which was held in New Orleans in 1999. Back then, we had no idea what to expect and no idea who would show. As it turns out, close to 100 people came and we sang the old hymns without censoring any lyrics (trusting that everyone could deal with them in their own way, being people of inherent worth and dignity and all), prayed to and unapologetically praised God, had a healing service that was one of the most powerful experiences of my religious life in community (Thomas Mikelson preached and we offered laying on of hands in teams), and had an incredible time. REVIVAL conferences are now offered yearly in various cities and draw a healthy attendance each time, and often big name speakers. This year will be in Cleveland in November and will feature John Dominick Crossan.
I have published several articles in the “Good News” and have an essay in the collection Christian Voices in Unitarian Universalism, edited by UUCF board member Kathleen Rolenz.

4. I always cry at the banner parade, and I especially loved the music this year.

5. I loved seeing friends from all over the country, and hearing stories about congregations that are doing great things. I always learn the most from spending time with people one on one and picking their brains about what they’re doing and how it’s working.

6. I really enjoyed Meg Barnhouse and Doug Muder’s talk on spiritual writing, and loved being invited to sing Meg’s song “All Will Be Well” with her.

7. While Open Space Technology wasn’t really my thing, I could see that some people were getting a very positive experience out of it, and that was happy to see.

8. I loved knowing that two of my congregation’s delegates got great stuff from UU University, and I loved knowing that an excellent team from my church was out and about soaking up inspiration to bring home. They are relentlessly creative and upbeat when I am mopey, and I would have a very hard time attending GA if my peeps weren’t there.

9. I loved attending most of the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee dinner and hearing about their projects, and I especially loved seeing one of my congregants win one of their three national representative awards. I was proud, mama!

10. It was fun to come in at the end of the Blogger Dinner and then to have very swanky drinks at a bar with Chalice Chick, Linguish Friend, Reverend Ricky, Chutney, Philocrites and Hafidha Sofia (Never Say Never To Your Traveling Self).

Speaking of which, here’s a wonderful moment from GA:

The aforementioned gang and I are walking down the streets of Portland finding our way to the next restaurant/bar and we come to a homeless shelter or mission house of some kind. There are folk sitting in the doorway and milling about on the street in front, and a police office is having a very unpleasant verbal exchange with a belligerent woman.
As I start to get through the small crowd, a tall, very skinny black man wearing a knit cap steps in front of me and blocks my way. Not threatening or anything; he just wants to get my attention. I look up at him and he says, in the most slow, snarky but affectionate drawl you can imagine:

“Well…. would you look at everyone all dressed up and LOOKIN’ LIKE FAMILY.”

And this becomes my favorite expression for GA. And maybe for church life in general.

All dressed up and LOOKIN LIKE FAMILY.

Mayflower

Nathaniel Philbrick’s book Mayflower was really, really excellent. If you’re looking for something terrific to read in honor of our country’s birthday, consider it.

And if you really want to get all smarty-pants on 17th century colonial America, follow it up with Jill Lepore’s terrific, The Name of War.

Dramatic Prairie Dog

In case you haven’t seen this YouTube sensation…

Recent Photos of the Pacific Northwest and GA

Sunset at Yachats, OR

Another View of Sunset at Yachats, OR

Another view from my window.

Tom and me after the UU Christian Fellowship Communion Service. (Do you think the Ministerial Fashion Maven could manage to get her own self a little less frizzy and wrinkled? Apparently not! Physician, heal thyself!)
The Communion Table

Downtown Seattle, View from Queen Anne’s

The Adorable Parker licking her chops from the back seat of Tim’s car, Seattle.
Someone has a very naughty sense of humor!!!
And just because she’s so cute, here’s one for free.

Famously snarky UU blogger snaps other famously snarky UU blogger! Story at 11!!

This is why when I asked my office manager at church what my martini budget was for GA, I wasn’t kidding! The lovely Reverends Erika Hewitt, Nicole Kirk and Alison Miller at Andina, a fabulous Peruvian restaurant in Portland where we drank vodka infused with habanera peppers and rum with cardamom. Glorious!