Comments on: Anointing Ritual

By: PeaceBang

PeaceBang — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 21:41:56 +0000

@HS: Good question! He was alive but very weak and unable to talk (although he wanted to — we were champion blabbers together, I tell ya). The ritual of anointing the dying is much more Catholic than Protestant, but there has been a renewed interest in this sort of thing in recent decades (maybe at the rise of the hospice movement? I don’t know — does anybody know?).
One of my students did a beautiful humanist anointing in our worship class - I wish I had a copy. So this could easily be done without God language, just blessings of peace, gratitude for the life, letting go of regrets and worries, etc.

I have blessed the dead after their passing many times, but I do that silently unless the family is there and wants to pray.
I know of UU ministers who have led families in a ritual washing of the body after death, which I think is beautiful, too.

My sense is that people are very desirous of rituals that mark the end of life as sacred, to claim the preciousness of the person who may have been very diminished by medical procedures, tubes and all the accompanying indignities of terminal illness in the hospital. Even when doctors and nurses are very compassionate, there is that constant flurry of things done TO the dying — and the impersonal setting of the hospital or ICU. I am deeply touched by the ways that families and friends will ask for rituals, will spontaneously create them themselves, and will keep vigil by their loved ones with great spiritual openness and intensity. I have seen laughter and storytelling, singing and even dancing.

I think one of the most rewarding aspects of ministry is getting to see people at their most beautiful witnessing to the end of life. I almost always go away feeling like humans are pretty awesome creatures. After all, what other species KNOWS its mortal and can manage to look that in the eye with such courage?

And then sometimes, of course, a death is a very solitary event, bitter and shadowed by abandonment. When people say to me, “If you don’t have children, who will look after you in your old age?” I think of the dying people I have sat with whose children never show, and I can’t respond.

Sorry for the long response, but it was an evocative question and I guess I needed to talk more about this!

(sing-song voice) “Okay, our time is up. THANKS FOR SHARING!”

By: h sofia

h sofia — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 20:28:41 +0000

This is very nice, but I’m unclear about one thing - was this done while he was alive, or after he passed?

(totally unfamiliar with anointments)

By: PeaceBang

PeaceBang — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 01:44:43 +0000

Good luck, Leslie. That first funeral is a big rite of passage for any new minister. Ancient priestly business, that is.

By: Leslie

Leslie — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 00:23:24 +0000

Prayers are with you.
I started my very first call to ministry today and have a funeral tomorrow. I hear the gentelman was a lovely man, and in fact I was to visit him today. I’m doing the funeral with the pastor who worked in this church for 19 months, then I’m on my own next time.
I hope I can use your anointing ritual another time.
Blessings.

By: Earthbound Spirit

Earthbound Spirit — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 22:32:35 +0000

This is lovely. Thank you for sharing - it gives me a model for anointing that is more personal that I’ve previously known.

Grace and peace to you and everyone involved.

By: fausto

fausto — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 18:02:02 +0000

That’s beautiful.

By: NDM

NDM — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 17:21:18 +0000

May your loved one rest in peace.

By: SisterCoyote

SisterCoyote — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 16:27:27 +0000

That’s lovely.

And I’m very sorry for your loss.

By: Eclectic Cleric

Eclectic Cleric — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 15:38:00 +0000

This is really lovely PB; thanks for posting it, and for letting the rest of us appropriate it as our own.