PeaceBang
The manic mind of the minister -- Auntie Mame Meets Cotton Mather. Blogging about Unitarian Universalism, UU Christian spiritual practice, occasional cultural and political ravings, and the inner life of ministry. PeaceBang is the alter ego of a small town pastor serving an historic New England Unitarian Universalist congregation.
Anointing Ritual
October 1, 2007 on 10:58 am | In Liturgy |A dearly beloved congregant died this morning, and I am so grateful that I was able to see him and give him this anointing, which I composed on the way to the nursing home. I told a friend about it and she said I should write it down and share it. So here it is, with my blessings on you and your mortal beloveds:
Anointing Ritual
Rev. Victoria Weinstein
N.., I bring you water from the North River, the place of your earthly home, to bless and anoint you as you make the transition from the earthly life to life in the spirit.
(after filling hand with some water, touch the brow)
I anoint you in the spirit of gratitude.
We thank God for all the goodness of your life,
(here you may name some blessings and happy memories)
and your many gifts (you may name some of them).
(with more water, touch brow again)
I anoint you in the spirit of forgiveness.
Whatever burdens of anger or regret you bear,
let them go.
Now is the time to release those cares,
and to receive God’s grace.
Whatever you have left undone,
do not be troubled by it.
Trust that we will attend to those things that concern you,
and be at peace.
Be at peace.
(with the final handful of water, touch the brow a third time)
N., we anoint you in the spirit of blessing.
We pray for your comfort.
You are not alone. God is with you, and we are holding you.
We witness to the beauty of your life,
and we are honored to be with you at its end.
Be at rest. God grant you peace. Amen.
(Here you may take your wet hands and touch the beloved’s hands, then move in a circle around the bed, taking the hands of the witnesses in yours by way of sharing the blessing.)
note: I felt it was important to perform this anointing at the setting of the sun.
____________________________________________________________________
going to cry now.
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This is really lovely PB; thanks for posting it, and for letting the rest of us appropriate it as our own.
Comment by Eclectic Cleric — October 1, 2007 #
That’s lovely.
And I’m very sorry for your loss.
Comment by SisterCoyote — October 1, 2007 #
May your loved one rest in peace.
Comment by NDM — October 1, 2007 #
That’s beautiful.
Comment by fausto — October 1, 2007 #
This is lovely. Thank you for sharing - it gives me a model for anointing that is more personal that I’ve previously known.
Grace and peace to you and everyone involved.
Comment by Earthbound Spirit — October 1, 2007 #
Prayers are with you.
I started my very first call to ministry today and have a funeral tomorrow. I hear the gentelman was a lovely man, and in fact I was to visit him today. I’m doing the funeral with the pastor who worked in this church for 19 months, then I’m on my own next time.
I hope I can use your anointing ritual another time.
Blessings.
Comment by Leslie — October 1, 2007 #
Good luck, Leslie. That first funeral is a big rite of passage for any new minister. Ancient priestly business, that is.
Comment by PeaceBang — October 1, 2007 #
This is very nice, but I’m unclear about one thing - was this done while he was alive, or after he passed?
(totally unfamiliar with anointments)
Comment by h sofia — October 2, 2007 #
@HS: Good question! He was alive but very weak and unable to talk (although he wanted to — we were champion blabbers together, I tell ya). The ritual of anointing the dying is much more Catholic than Protestant, but there has been a renewed interest in this sort of thing in recent decades (maybe at the rise of the hospice movement? I don’t know — does anybody know?).
One of my students did a beautiful humanist anointing in our worship class - I wish I had a copy. So this could easily be done without God language, just blessings of peace, gratitude for the life, letting go of regrets and worries, etc.
I have blessed the dead after their passing many times, but I do that silently unless the family is there and wants to pray.
I know of UU ministers who have led families in a ritual washing of the body after death, which I think is beautiful, too.
My sense is that people are very desirous of rituals that mark the end of life as sacred, to claim the preciousness of the person who may have been very diminished by medical procedures, tubes and all the accompanying indignities of terminal illness in the hospital. Even when doctors and nurses are very compassionate, there is that constant flurry of things done TO the dying — and the impersonal setting of the hospital or ICU. I am deeply touched by the ways that families and friends will ask for rituals, will spontaneously create them themselves, and will keep vigil by their loved ones with great spiritual openness and intensity. I have seen laughter and storytelling, singing and even dancing.
I think one of the most rewarding aspects of ministry is getting to see people at their most beautiful witnessing to the end of life. I almost always go away feeling like humans are pretty awesome creatures. After all, what other species KNOWS its mortal and can manage to look that in the eye with such courage?
And then sometimes, of course, a death is a very solitary event, bitter and shadowed by abandonment. When people say to me, “If you don’t have children, who will look after you in your old age?” I think of the dying people I have sat with whose children never show, and I can’t respond.
Sorry for the long response, but it was an evocative question and I guess I needed to talk more about this!
(sing-song voice) “Okay, our time is up. THANKS FOR SHARING!”
Comment by PeaceBang — October 2, 2007 #