Tragic Romance

October 12, 2007 on 7:07 am | In Cat Blogging |

On Tuesday night, Ermengarde decided that she was madly and tragically in love with me. She jumped on the bed in the darkness as I was trying to fall asleep and executed Le Grand Flop against my side. This always makes me laugh, because all my other cats have always loved to sleep ON me, but Erm isn't coordinated enough to keep her footing on Human Lady Mountain. She can only cuddle when she manages to fall over stiff-legged like a horse that's been shot and squirm from there into the crook of my arm. She's the most awkward cat I've ever known. When I adopted her it never occurred to me that I'd be getting a cat who would never sleep in my lap and who would only very occasionally curl up around my head or in the small of my back.

But I love her just the same, the little keeling-over maniac. The good thing about her klutziness is that she never climbs on counters or perches on perilous surfaces.

In the dark she reaches out her paw and pet my face. This is something she'll occasionally do when I've overslept and she wants to be fed, but she had a bowl of food downstairs and no reason for the behavior. No aggressive licking, either, just the pets. I thank her for her sweetness and try to sleep. Again, the paw comes out of the darkness and her little white oven-mitty strokes my face. I open my eyes and see, just inches from my own eyes, a pair of gleaming feline peepers staring at me with an expression of the most tragic, unrequited love I've ever seen. Here comes the paw again. My goodness. Pet, pet, pet. So gentle. I pet her little striped head back, thanks, honey. Okay, let's go to sleep now. I love you too.

I fall asleep and about a half an hour later it starts again. The gentlest little paw in the world softly touching my face the way your parents might have done when you were asleep and they were trying not to wake you. I squint my eyes open (I don't want to encourage her by making direct eye contact) and can see that she's still watching me in the night, keeping some sort of bizarre vigil for reasons I can't begin to fathom, gazing at me with the kind of look that Romeo gave Juliet before he left her for the last time. What, is she auditioning for a local production of "Wuthering Heights?" Maybe she knows something I don't know? Is she plotting my demise with the snake again?

6 Comments »

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  1. Aaaawwwwwwwww, bless her little kitty heart. she does wwuuvvv you sooooo much. My kitty does the fall down snuggle thing when I am on the couch. It has been very cold in my neck of the woods and my kitty is trying to partake of my body heat by cuddling up to me. However she isn’t petting me. I feel so deprived.

    Comment by god guurrll — October 12, 2007 #

  2. My kitty-fella pats too. Really does the guilt on a person when such a gentle critter is sooooo loving. Of course one KNOWS it’s probably just because they want goodies. But I tell myself it’s a love pat…followed by a lick on the eyelids to check and see if I’m faking sleep. THEY KNOW!!!!
    This is also now the season he curls up on my chest (move the book and paper please and don’t try to see around me). I have no chest shelf and this behavior, however cute and loving, is just one more reminder he adopted me and let me live in his house!

    Comment by Rev. Steelman — October 12, 2007 #

  3. huh. my cat lucky bites me when he wants something. not a mean bite, but he just hauls himself up on the bed, meows loudly, and then sinks his little choppers onto my arm and doesn’t let go for a couple seconds.

    am way jealous of the cat pets. sweeet ermie!

    Comment by karla — October 12, 2007 #

  4. My late cat was a klutz, too. He had a habit of falling on his head, creating a hollow, coconuts banging together sort of sound.

    He was more like a dog than a cat. Elijah came from a bad home so he had separation anxiety and would follow me around everywhere.

    Comment by Comrade Kevin — October 12, 2007 #

  5. A beloved longtime friend sent me your blog. So wonderful! “Rocky the Flying Curl” (he’s an a breed called American Curl), prefers to sleep curled (as it were) into my husband’s arm because first, he like him more than me…go figure! Second, he loves my husband’s beard, and enjoys sinking his paws (hands) into it. I prefer to think the Rockster feels he’s dealing with another cat, rather than shunning the female of the house who loves him so much. He does show me great respect and a bit of affection, and at age 14 still acts like a kitten and makes us laugh every day. I love him beyond all limits, including hairballs directly on my pillow, but it’s my husband who is his hero. Mine, too, I guess.

    The Father, aka, Gracie

    Comment by Gracie Fleming — October 13, 2007 #

  6. Maybe you are snoring, and she’s gently trying to shut you up!

    Comment by Ann — October 16, 2007 #

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