Comments on: Single Girls’ Friday Night and Fave New Blog

By: leigh

leigh — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 04:38:22 +0000

I thought it was just me! Believe me its not just the Northwest, its like that in az too!

By: h sofia

h sofia — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 03:44:02 +0000

single and happy’s comment reminds me of an article I recently read about Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton: they live similarly (and they even have children together, so I’m not sure how they work that out). They live in separate houses connected by a single corridor. They seem to like it.

By: single and happy

single and happy — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 22:07:07 +0000

I’ve hit upon a nice arrangement that suits my independence and busy-ness and need for solitude and privacy. My “partner” agreed to live next door. Literally. We come and go pretty much at will between the two residences. It’s great for a spontaneous dinner, movie night, person to vent to, a quick cuddle. It’s excellent when I want to hang out with friends/family, pursue my own interests, stay up half the night baking cookies, or rearrange the furniture and don’t have to consult/coordinate with someone else unless I want to. It is not so good economically (2 households when there could be one, freeing up housing for someone else). But I am the envy of many, who confirm that I have “the perfect arrangement.”

I mentioned this to an undergrad friend recently, and she confirmed that this is in vogue on campus: monogamous dating, she called it, where one’s life is not monopolized by the relationship but there is exclusivity.

In spite of my doubts (am I afraid of commitment? am I unwilling to make compromises to work things out?), I am totally happy with this arrangement. So this is in response to some of the previous posts - I’m trying to have it both ways: the single life without the Friday/Saturday night blaaaahs.

By: D.Williams

D.Williams — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 22:20:32 +0000

Yes, I have had that kind of Friday night.

By: chutney

chutney — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 01:14:01 +0000

Do ministers ever get together to unwind on Sunday afternoons? [Good question. I’d like to, but I make zzz’s into my pillow in the afternoon and get back to work by the evening. Bad idea, of course, but Monday comes too soon. -PB]

By: cincinnati mom

cincinnati mom — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:49:47 +0000

I think loneliness is epidemic in our society. Yet think of the “Senior Center”, which is set up to counteract loneliness. Some will take advantage of it; some will not. My grandmother always said- “I don’t like being around old people”. She was in her 80’s and 90’s and probably could have had a lot of fun with some of the activities and transportation to events.

What you make me think of is a “community center” is needed for folks who want to connect- spontaneously. We do this via church at our women’s group, holiday party, volunteering in various areas. But the minister can’t really take advantage of that, as you mention.

If you are the mother of a small child, there are “mom’s groups” in many communities. If you have a school age child, you can get into Scouting or PTA, or other volunteer activities.

I think that is why on-line communities attract so many people.

In my younger days, it was nothing to clean the house, make a meal for 30 people and host a party on Fri or Sat night. Now that seems overwhelming. The house isn’t clean, there is no time to shop and cook, and I have other things I’d rather do. Plus, when the time comes, will I feel like socializing? I didn’t have that issue before.

I think churches can help with this issue, but clearly the minister won’t get what they need in the process.

If it helps, your ministry and communication through your blogs are a great help to many many folks. Wishing you the blessings of a peaceful and calm season and many friendly occasions to fill your social needs. [Thanks, C-Mom. -PB]

By: Rev Bee

Rev Bee — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:32:14 +0000

And one more amen right back to Rev. E. - (don’t worry, I’ll send PB some good recipes!)- in my new parish (a cute and fab place in Connecticut), I find that I am also using my early-Sundays as catch-up in the office time (till 1 or 2), and when I get home, I like to sit on my couch, make a drink, and crash! I guess some habits (even those born of loneliness) die hard. I still MISS the washington Post.

By: Mrs. M

Mrs. M — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 15:21:23 +0000

PB, for what it’s worth, I’m married and I feel this way sometimes, too.

By: Lizard Eater

Lizard Eater — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 05:47:30 +0000

Hmm … I wonder how many of us, on both sides of the road, are letting pride/embarrassment *mistakenly* get between us.

I am a mama. Of four. Ages 2.5 - 11. Even though they’re well-behaved (well, not the 2 1/2 year old. She’s two and a half, you see), I am loathe to infringe upon my single friend’s lives. Just today, we were invited to go to lunch. “Thanks, but I’m afraid I’d wind up apologizing to you.” Even on a good day, they’re kids, and they take a certain amount of cutting up their enchiladas and “don’t spill your drink” and so on.

Not being Victorian times, my children do not know the concept of being only seen and not heard. We try to limit their involvement, but they like my friends, too, and want to talk to them, too.

So … I don’t want to impose upon them, except for the rare time when it’s just me.

Hmm.

By: marcia

marcia — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:56:47 +0000

I promise not to tell you that married people get lonely too, but I will tell you that what I dislike about being partnered with children is that I rarely see my friends. It feels like with life so busy with church and children’s activities, school, committees, etc., that I have very little time, and I feel guilty if I’m not spending that time with my family. I adore them all, but sometimes really, REALLY miss my friends. I haven’t seen the person I think of as my best friend in a year, and we live in the same town. That’s pathetic.

What I liked best about being single (which was many, many years ago) was being able to do things spontainiously with my friends. With a partner, and particularly with children, I’m never at loss for something to do, but I miss calling my friends and saying- hey, want to catch a movie? Probably more a kid issue than a partnered one, but it feels sort of tied in together : )