PeaceBang

Hark How the Bells

December 5, 2007 on 8:59 pm | In Inspirations, Just Funny, Mind of the Minister | 4 Comments

I attended a lovely concert of Christmas music this morning at church, but the thing is, I wasn’t at all in the spirit. The woman’s ensemble was really excellent — they always are — and I just sat there feeling guilty for having arrived late and for not being angelically appreciative of being there, just rarin’ to get into the office and GET SOME WORK DONE. As many pastors recognize, this is a seasonal event that goes with the call at this particular congregation and the one time I missed it I felt lousy about it, just wrong. We have this concert and then the Alliance has their holiday luncheon with those sandwiches on crustless white bread that you can eat 100 of if they let you. I think I ate between 8-10. I would have gone back for more of the roast beef ones, seriously. So it’s the whole morning and by the time you get into the office you’re in a carb-induced bloat and need a nap even though you have a scary long list of things that need doing.

Anyway, when the choir ladies brought out the handbells during the concert this morning I definitely perked up because I love handbells. To be more specific, I love handbells when they’re played imperfectly, because the times I have tried to play in a handbell ensemble I became a nervous wreck and clanged away at all the wrong times and for some reason that strikes me as hilariously funny. So this is what I hope for when the handbells come out: that someone will mess up and then the next person will mess up and there will be this gentle, melodious train wreck of sound coming from these earnestly lovely people with white gloves on who are just trying, dammit, to make the music of the angels.

To my great and tender delight, not only did the last song slowly degenerate into such a confused cacophony of off-rhythm BONGing that the director had to stop the gals and give it a second go, I caught one of the ladies in the first row mouthing an alarmed OH Jesus as she made the first of the mistakes. Lady, whoever you are, you totally made my day and possibly my entire Christmas season. I’m thinking of her now with her pretty white hair and pristine gloves, and her festive red vest going oh Jesus and she is my Special Advent Favorite.

In other silly things that make me unaccountably happy at this time of year, there’s this.

Sexuality and the Minister

December 3, 2007 on 12:28 am | In Mind of the Minister, Theological Reflection | 12 Comments

Thanks for all your understanding comments on my Friday night post.

I’m still thinking about single clergy girl life and how much different it feels than being a regular single working girl, when I had more freedom to make mistakes with men, to have a drink in the local bar without worrying whether someone might see me, to flirt in town, and to assume that it’s acceptable to be a sexual human being.

That latter point is just horrible. What’s strange is that it’s not my congregation that expects me to be a buttoned-up, sexless being but the larger society that seems to demand it.

Today in church I used a reading by Rumi about God being fire and water — a poetic, mystical thing followed by a prayer. As part of my prayer I said, “We are not here to make sense. We are here to make love.”

And I felt fine doing it because my church isn’t the kind of place where people would snort and elbow each other in the ribs, like, “The minister said ‘make love!’”

It’s the rest of the society that behaves that way, actually. And I am so over it.

When I think of the wellness and wholeness of my family, my friends, my congregation and myself, a healthy expression of sexual intimacy is right there on the list. In the spirit of my Uncle Dick who once told me that he wished a good sex life for all his children, nieces and nephews, I am sad when I see people untouched and unloved, and I rejoice when I hear about people making good love.

It’s a shame the Church is so silent on this aspect of human relationships and that we’re only called to speak about dysfunctional, unethical or taboo aspects of sexuality. We preside over weddings and baby blessings — both of which involve sex — and say nothing about the matter at either rite of passage. When pastoring around separation, illness and death, who among us has ever acknowledged the fact that a bereaved partner has often lost their lover as well as their helpmate, and honored with words or prayers that particularly physical loss that no words of consolation can adequately address?

Sometimes when I look over the congregation of a Sunday morning I want to say, “How’s your love life, everyone? How you guys all doing? Everyone okay? To the couples: are you loving on each other like you should be? to the singles: you getting by alright? Got a dog or a cat to cuddle with?”

Maybe because it’s Advent and I’m thinking about the Incarnation, about God’s insistent desire to be born among us in human form, about the earthy blessing of all of it, that I especially grieve lately the cheapening of relationships, the addiction to pornography and objectification of the human body, the cruel ways those seeking romantic partners coldly assess, use or reject potential lovers, the widespread kissing deficit in this over-busy, having-getting-and-spending society.

For heaven’s sake, go find some mistletoe and plant one on your honey! Tell them PeaceBang sent you.