1. Has nice tits (any size)
2. Not crazy (negotiable if tits are nice enough)

Seriously though, of course there has to be some sort of mutual attraction or the whole thing’s a non-starter.

Kind, considerate, well-mannered…sure, why not? I mean who wants to be with a cruel, rude and inconsiderate slob? (Oops. Forget I said that. Sorry I asked).

Intelligence and a great sense of humor are highly overrated. I frequently get turned down for dates by women who don’t think they’re smart enough for me. Good thing I can still laugh about it.

Let’s see, spiritually-aware progressive or drug-addicted criminal? I’m going to have to think about that one a little longer.

Making someone’s heart go thumpety-thump is not exactly something anyone can expect to do 24/7, not even movie stars. Some days (hell, these days most days) I’ll settle for a toe-curling climax. Although I have to admit that the next best thing is that sly half-grin and playful twinkle in the eye that reminds me of the last one, and makes me eager for the next.

Charisma? What exactly do you mean by “Charisma?” But I suppose you know it when you see it.

I guess if I were making a longer list (besides the cleavage and sanity thing, and skirting entirely the far more troubling issue of whether or not constant societal objectification eventually makes ALL women crazy), I would have to say that I generally go for smart and funny too — along with kind, considerate, sensitive, well-mannered, politically-progressive and great hair. And yes, she ought to be at least as into me as I’m into her…but not TOO much more — because that gets complicated too.

But mostly I’m just looking for someone who “gets” me — an adventurous soul, curious and generous, thankful, broad-minded, well-travelled and non-judgmental…and definitely not a prude either, although shy and slightly modest (or even demure) is probably a better fit than loud and profane.

Not that there’s anything wrong with loud and profane.

But at the end of the day, it really does come down to knowing how to love and be loved. And isn’t this really what we’re all trying to figure out anyway? Honesty. Loyalty. Trust-WORTHINESS. I’m surprised Fidelity didn’t make the list. For a lot of folks, that would have been #1. Not to mention plain and simple old fashioned “commitment.” But that’s what we’re all supposed to be afraid of, right?

If we seek an amen corner to reach out to with our own personal concerns and vulnerabilities we’ll often find it, but that sort of behavior can be counterproductive in the end. Though it makes us feel understood and validated, unless we address inside ourselves what it is we really desire, then we aren’t making progress.

You are wise to recognize this. Keeping a healthy sense of perspective is probably the best way to go about it. I think about the progress I have made over the years which has come through self-reflection and conscious efforts to work on myself and force myself to make progress even when it wasn’t particularly comfortable to do so.

It wasn’t until I stopped revealing so much and kept my own counsel, which of course meant that I was finally being true to my adult self, did that change.

And Mr. Right for Me, Right Now, Amen, could find the psychic and emotional space to enter my life.

Don’t blog it, live it. More power to you; share when the time is right. To combine your last two posts: I am PRAYING for you and the love you deserve! [Great words of wisdom, Lou! Power love salute to ya! I just might not be blogging much at all lately because my life is changing so fast …. - xoxo PB]

I am a big believer in letting our intentions be known, and, of course, “lives within 1000 miles of me” is not on your list. Oh well!

Wishing you much happiness, however the romance turns out.

m

And Sweetie, just remember that if he breaks your heart, all the ‘Bangers will descend on Florida in haze so think, they’ll welcome a plague of locusts instead.

BJ