PeaceBang

Cheeseburgers Make You Unlovable, According To Subway’s Marketing Team

Man, this frosts me so much it makes me cuss.

Is this misogynist commercial that preys on women’s insecurities and America’s pathological fat-phobia someone’s idea of funny? I don’t eat at Subway, but I definitely won’t now. I hope that those of you with a moment of time will call their corporate headquarters at (203)877-4281 and talk to Monica at extension 85, who will take down your complaint and share it with the marketing and advertising team. I just did, and she was really polite and nice.

Thanks to Jezebel for the link.

A Moment of Zen in Time Squares, New Year’s Eve, 2007

You know the scene. You’ve either been there or watched it on television, snuggled cozily in bed or on the couch and thanking your lucky stars that you’re not stuck in that claustrophobia-inducing bacchanalia.

So this year I’m snuggled cozily in with a pal and we’re watching the madness right before the big disco ball drops and chuckling while the frantic newsgal sticks a microphone into various inebriated faces and screams “WHAT’S YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION THIS YEAR?”

She’s getting the usual “I’M GONNA LOSE TWENNY POUNDS!” “I’M GONNA GET BETTER GRADES!” “I’M GONNA USE MY CREDIT CARD LESS!” and this sort of thing. And then, because I’m nodding off, I miss it. My pal starts cracking up and I rouse myself and say, “What? What? What did I miss?” All I had noticed through my sleepy haze was a woman with a comically huge, lit-up 2008 tiara on her head and a Brooklyn accent so thick you could serve it on bread with mustard. “What did she say?” And as soon as he can stop laughing his head off, my friend gasps out, “TAKE PROPER TIME TO BE WITH YOURSELF!” which comes out like “TAKE PROPPAH TOIME TA BE WITH YAHSELF!”

This pronouncement is followed with a wild, “GO TEAM” bout of cheering and jumping up and down tooting horns, and right there we have the perfect mash-up of mindless New Year’s Eve revelry and the wisdom of ancients.

So whoever you are, New York lady, my friend and I just want to say we totally love you and you have given us the best, most genuine first great laugh of the new year.

The Pageless Book

Cripes, I don’t know how I’ve missed John Pageless’ blog for this long, but I’m sorry to have just discovered it tonight. Check it out, ya’ll. If you don’t hear from me for awhile it’s because I’m currently thinking boring, peaceful thoughts and catching up on John’s entries.

No, but seriously about thinking “boring thoughts:” I am sick about Kenya, beautiful Kenya where “these things don’t happen.” As I am trying to embrace a spiritual practice of not thinking aggressive and agitating thoughts that lead nowhere but to unproductive tension, I let my body express anguish for me. I’ve never in my life prayed on my knees of my own volition (I mean, I’m sure I scrunched down a few times as a visitor to an Episcopal or Orthodox service). Now I understand the value. All the distraught thoughts in the world can’t bring back those horribly tormented, burnt and machete-hacked, desecrated dead. But me praying on my knees for God’s realm to be made manifest among us can at least put my spirit in the right condition of receptivity for life as it is, and make my heart full of hope for life as it could be.

Lord have mercy on us.