PeaceBang

The Offering Is a Great Teaching Moment

Students and student ministers of mine know that I like to emphasize the fact that the Offering is not a throwaway moment that should be dispensed with as quickly as possible in the service so that we can get to the “real” religious stuff. Stewardship is (or could be) as spiritual as prayer, and I believe that ministers should put as much care and thought into making the offering words meaningful as they do their prayers and sermons. If people hear the same phrase week after week, their giving can also become rote. What a shame that is, for the offering is part of the liturgy during which we actually mingle our life energy in a tangible way, through the sharing of our financial gifts. There’s no reason to mumble something brief and euphemistic (The wag in me always wants to look around in exaggerated consternation when visiting at churches where they do this and say in a stage whisper, “Excuse me, is this the part where we’re supposed to throw money in the basket?”) and “get it over with.”

The Bible says that God loves a cheerful giver, so I like to start my Offerings with jokes, when I can get a good one. SweetieBang gave me this one and I’m using it tomorrow. You have my permission to do the same, just please attribute:

“A time-share salesman and a priest die at the same time. The time-share salesman gets hit by a bus; the priest dies in his sleep of natural causes. When they end up at the pearly gates, St. Peter calls forward the time-share salesman and says, ‘What did you do with your life?’ The time-share salesman guy says, ‘I sold time-share.” St. Peter checks his notes, he looks in a big book, he says ‘I see here that you are correct’ and he says, ‘You see that mansion made of solid gold, with the crystal blue sea on one side and the purple ski mountains in the back? You go there.’

So the priest is thinking, ‘Wow, if the time-share salesman gets that, I’ve got it made.’When St. Peter calls him up and asks, ‘What did you do with your life?’ the priest says, ‘I gave food to the hungry, clothing and shelter to the poor’ — he goes on for half an hour about all his good works. St. Peter looks in his book and says, ‘I see that this is true. You see that stone cottage in the meadow with the sheep in front of it? You go there.’ The priest says, ‘Well, begging your pardon St. Peter, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but how come the time-share salesman guy gets the gold mansion and all that?’

And St. Peter says, ‘Oh, he only gets that for a week.’

Jesus said, ‘Where your heart is, there shall your treasure be also.’ Our hearts are with this community – not because it is perfect, not because it is easy to be in community, and not because we are always happy here, but because here we are called and recalled, again and again, to our highest aspirations and ideals. The Church at its best provides not only the comfort of fellowship and care, but the spiritual stretch we need to go beyond the littleness of our own lives and grow in moral maturity. Let us now share our a portion of our financial treasure where our hearts are. Pledges and free will offerings to [name of congregation] will now be gratefully received.” - (Rev. Victoria Weinstein, Norwell, MA)

Busy Weekend

Hola friends,

Off to Weight Watchers, then the gym, then a recording session (boy, does that make me feel way hipper than I am!), then to ATTEND a wedding. “ATTEND” is in caps because I can’t remember the last time I actually attended a wedding rather than officiating at one. That earns a big “WHOO HOO” from this girl, even though the temperature has dropped and my carefully chosen outfit is chiffon-y and I’m likely to freeze my nu-nus off. But I’m not complaining: SHE GOES FREE OF VESTMENTS TODAY, LORD. THANKEE.
Then, tomorrow: church, newsletter column, grocery shopping, reading for class, and that whole relationship thing that I’m still adjusting to. “Honey, I’m home” doesn’t just go out to the cat any more. Wow.

I am particularly looking forward to tomorrow’s worship service for an unusual reason: I received an e-mail from a local young gay man detailing his search for a religious community and wondering if he would be welcome at our congregation, and to Unitarian Universalism. It was such a joy to be able to say “YES” to him unequivocally and to say that even if he did not find a spiritual home with us, we certainly wanted to offer him a roadside rest and some hospitality on his journey. Our faith tradition isn’t for everyone, but it feels very good to be able to offer at least what I hope will be a healing moment of respite where he knows –and explicitly hears — that his sexual orientation is no barrier to his full participation in the church and that our faith proclaims God’s unending love for each one of us.

Finally, I want to thank you, lovely PeaceBangers, for awarding this blog and Beauty Tips for Ministers with so many UU Blog Awards. The winners can be viewed here and I’m really looking forward to some free hours to peruse some of the other blogs that were nominated that I’m not yet familiar with. Thanks to UU Updater for putting in so much time and talent to making the awards happen. Above all, I think they’re great for getting more of us linked to a variety of UU bloggers, and as Martha S. would say, “That’s a good thing.”

Have a blessed weekend.

Time To Cast Your Vote For UU Blogging Awards

Well gang, I know I’ve been remiss since having the big love pizza pie hit me in the eye, but I do hope you’ll consider how often PeaceBang has made you laugh, has made you think, and has made you mad as a wet hen in 2007 and go vote for me as Best Something this year. I put a lot of heart and soul into my blogs and I ain’t gonna lie to ya: it would be nice to be honored with your vote.

I am nominated for :
Best Religious Writing or Theological Commentary - Single Entry
Best Review or Cultural Commentary
Best Religious Writing or Theological Commentary - Best of Class
Best Use Of Visuals (Beauty Tips for Ministers)
Best Anecdore or Narrative (Beauty Tips For Ministers)
Best UU-Themed Blog
Best Minister’s Blog (both PeaceBang and Beauty Tips For Ministers)
Best Writing (both PeaceBang and Beauty Tips For Ministers)

Here are some of the reasons you love PeaceBang, or love to hate PeaceBang. Either way, she’s provocative, ain’t she?

By the way, SweetieBang is drying the dinner dishes as I type this and as I fret to him about being in competition with myself in two exciting categories he says in a mock French philosophy-student voice, “Madame, it must be hard to remain humble with such concerns on your mind.” I’m sure you’ll all be happy to know that I am regularly having my chops busted over here.

Friday Cat Blogging

“She went to Florida and she didn’t bring me back a filet of grouper. Not even a- you should pardon the expression — catfish.”

“Talk to the paw.”

“I am NOT chubby. Look: I’m almost bikini-ready! Now please at least go open a can of tuna in the kitchen and we can pretend it came from the Gulf of Mexico. I am not going to stop staring at you like one of those bug-eyed Whitley Streiber aliens until you do.”