PeaceBang

Leaving Home

January 5, 2009 on 1:11 pm | In Mind of the Minister, PeaceBanging Around, Theological Reflection |

Cripes, change is hard! That’s my really deep, original thought for the day.

I just feel heartsick today. I’m making progress with my long pre-departure to-do list, and that’s good. But I’m at that point where I can’t yet get excited about my travels and am just dreading leaving the familiar, the comfortable, the support and love of my community of friends and church, and the love of my little furballs. Ermengarde has been all over me today - she knows I’m upset. Max is oblivious, I think, but he and I don’t have so much history and he’s happy wherever he goes (as long as there are fun people, dogs and food). He’s looking at me now with his big brown eyes over his favorite spot on the top of the couch. Mr. Warm Porkchop.

I’ve never been away from my home for longer than four weeks. This is big for me. I think about military men and women being deployed for years at a time, of refugees, of my Jewish ancestors who were old pros at being evicted from wherever they made their homes, of Pa Ingalls who always had that itch to move west in the covered wagon even though Ma wanted to stay put on the homestead. Some people want to be on the move, others have to be. I’m lucky to have this opportunity and I know it. But you can’t lie about inconvenient, inappropriate emotions when you have them.

God knows I’m pretty expert at moving around myself. Since I left home at 18 I’ve lived in the Chicago area (five different apartments); Minneapolis; St. Paul; Rochester, NY; Cambridge and Somerville, MA; Devon, PA; three residences in Howard County, Maryland; and now Norwell, MA. This is my seventh year here — a record for me, and long enough that I feel that this is home. I like that feeling. I get a lot of strength from that feeling.

Foxes have their holes and birds have their nests but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head, said Jesus (or something pretty much like it). I wonder where he thought of as “home?” I wonder if wherever he was felt like home to him, wherever he could heal, cast out demons, preach, and bring the living God to the people. As the old saying says, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
And that’s true. The trouble is, I’d like my home, my community, my friends and my animal companions to be there with me wherever I am. It would be a lot more fun!

So I’m just feeling the heavy hearted thing today. I’m sure it will pass.