So I’m in the Whole Foods today and I am standing there trying to remember my list when I see a pretty mom take a Red Delicious apple off the display, shine it up real good on her pants, and hand it to her daughter who’s riding in the cart. The kid’s about six and she bites eagerly into the apple.
I wasn’t staring, I was thinking about my list but with a tiny part of my brain I was thinking, “Huh. They sell apples by the pound. I wonder how she’s gonna ring that out with the cashier.” I probably had a bit of a furrowed brow. Catching my eye, the mom suddenly brays, “DO YOU LOVE THAT PRETTY PINK APPLE? IS IT DELICIOUS? IS IT YUMMY!?”
She’s loud and hyper enough so that what had been an in-the-back-of-my-mind awareness moves right to the front. I stand paralyzed for a moment amongst the potatoes.
And then I’m like, “Oh, yea, I get it. She probably had no intention of paying for that apple.” It’s the same thing my beagle does when he knows he’s in trouble. He ratchets up the adorable to distract from the naughty.
I limp away, rolling my cart. I’m not going to report her to the grocery cops or nuthin’, but I also don’t want to feel obligated to respond with the obligatory Co-Conspirator Smiley Face. Give your kid an apple, by all means. I’m not judging. Kids don’t have to be cute to deserve to be fed, they just have to be hungry. Relax, mom. Way to stick it to the MAN.