Posted on by PeaceBang

PB On Twitter: Working On My Religious Stand-Up Routine

  1. You know how there’s that phrase in “Here Am I, Lord?” that sounds exactly like “The Brady Bunch” theme?
    “Here I am Lord
    It is I, Lord,
    …who was bringing up three very lovely girls…“
    I was at an ordination last weekend sitting next to one of my oldest buddies in ministry and we got a tiny fit of church giggles when that phrase came up. Okay, I admit that it didn’t help that I quietly sang the Brady Bunch lyric.
    It has been a very, very long winter and I’m just silly lately. Enjoy these “pessimist prayers” + other irreverences from my recent Twitter feed.  Nothing gives me silly giggles so fast as switching up a phrase or cliché that’s so well-worn you would never imagine it to conclude any way but the way it has the thousand and ten times you have said or heard it before.

    Holy, Holy, Holy! Keurig Almighty! Early in the morning our mug shall rise to thee!

     

    Victoria WeinsteinVictoria Weinstein ‏@peacebang

  2. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we forgive those who just said ‘trespass’ by accident.#pessimistprayers

    Victoria WeinsteinVictoria Weinstein ‏@peacebang21h

  3. Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in New Haven. #pessimistprayers

    Come to me, all ye who are heavy laden and I will give you a Jell-O shot + send you back out on the dance floor. #pessimistprayers
    Do not stand at my grave + weep, I am not here, I do not have time for your drama. #pessimistprayers
    Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am tired + need a nap. #pessimistprayers
    When God closes a door, He opens a window and throws you out of it. #pessimistprayers

 

3 Replies to “PB On Twitter: Working On My Religious Stand-Up Routine”

  2. BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

    “Do not stand at my grave + weep, I am not here, I do not have time for your drama.”

    I want this on my tombstone!

  3. About 10-12 years ago, a friend and I were at the Ukranian Orthodox funeral of our friend’s grandfather. The priest had a rather thick accent, so it took us much longer than it should have to realize that he was not saying “Our kinky mortal” but “Our king immortal.” We laughed about it in the car between the church and the cemetery, and shared it with our friend at the collation to make her laugh, too.

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