PeaceBang

Barack Denounces His Pastor

And it just makes me sick.
It’s a capitulation to the muckraking media.
Maureen Dowd called it political patricide, which sounds just right (forgive the pun).
It’s a failure to stay the course of integrity, insisting that Americans look beyond the sensationalism of a few phrases spoken by a very fine minister who is a known, and respected, radical progressive.
And above all, it’s all the evidence we need that the liberal church has absolutely no credibility or relevance when it comes to the hothouse of presidential elections. It is evidence of the profound failure of the liberal church — and I submit that we are irrelevant and that we have failed because we are not united, we have allowed ourselves to become invisible to most and mocked and stereotyped by those who do “see” us and don’t like what they see.

We have played Inclusive Nice Guy for so long that when one of us dares to speak in tongues of fire in the true liberal prophetic way, we can neither protect or defend him.

And so he has been cast out by one of the only men who should have had the courage to say, “Yes, this is my church. It is a church of free thought and dissent, where we rage with as much passion against ignorance and injustice as the hellfire and brimstone preachers whose theology we utterly reject.”

The teaching moment is over, and it’s politics as usual.

[This just in: Thanks to commenters Philocrites and Melody who have tuned me into a part of the story I wasn’t aware of, which is Rev. Wright’s discrediting of Obama to the National Press Club. I’ll have to read about that and catch up. But I know that I’ll still be heartbroken when I’ve done that, just adding another layer of complexity to my emotions. - PB]

[Thank you all for your interesting comments. I find that I agree most of all with Rev. P’s assessment. After having read the entire transcript of the talk at the National Press Club, I do not consider his remarks a denunciation of Barack Obama, nor do I hear in him an out-of-control ego. After all, he never asked for all this attention to be focused on himself. That’s all I’ll say now, but to add this, too, which does not surprise me. - PB]

Offensive MasterCard Commercial

May I just pause in the middle of working on a paper and my newsletter column to say how vile I find MasterCard’s new commercial?

I’ve got the World Series on and it just came on during the break.

The ad features a rich, 20-something white girl doing a series of things only the most privileged people could ever do: diving off a cliff into a pristine blue sea, taking fencing classes, taking voice lessons, and I forget what else. The woman’s voice (well, ostensibly her voice) sings “My Favorite Things” in the background.

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don’t feel
so bad.

In an era of such rampant inequalities, war and genocide, this commercial seems incredibly insensitive and offensive. I hardly think that most MasterCard holders are using their credit cards to finance dips in the Aegean Sea. They’re probably buying prescription drugs and groceries with it, for god’s sake.

The Not-So-Mysterious Computer Crash of 10/07

This is a perfectly true story.

If you have a new Dell computer, you will notice that there is a little button to the left of the power button with a house icon on it. The button is useless. It’s there for some supposedly convenient function involving the ability to bypass Windows and go to Dell Media Direct when you’re watching DVDs, but it’s essentially unnecessary and potentially huge trouble.

The house button connects to something my techie called a hidden partition which means nothing to me, but here’s what you need to know: if you press that button while the computer is in sleep or hibernation mode, it will kick you into another drive and cause major problems. This is important: If you replaced the Vista OS with Windows XP, as I did, it will be more than a pain in the derriere. It will basically delete your hard drive.

You must be wondering how I was stupid enough to press the house button while the computer was in sleep mode. I didn’t. But I think I have a pretty good idea who did.

Would anyone like a small, striped throw rug for Christmas?

Include Your Address!!

Calling all webmasters and webmistresses!!

Given the popularity of GPS systems, consider putting your company/church/social service agency/school/restaurant address on your web site!!

I have noticed of late — much to my frustration — that many web sites only include directions*, and not just a plain old street address. Where the heck in the world ARE ye?

Those of us who have finally tired of the danger of trying to drive and read complicated directions at the same time and who have aquired GPS systems would DEEPLY APPRECIATE the inclusion of the street address on your web site.

Thank you very much.

*Middlesex School in Concord, I’m lookin’ at you.

He Lived The American Dream, Except Without the Integrity Part

I threw up a little in my mouth when Bush said that it was a shame that Gonzalez’s name has been “dragged through the mud for political purposes.”
Right. Because crapping all over the Constitution isn’t a valid reason to lambaste a public leader. Must just be unfounded orneriness.

My blood pressure goes up when I read too much about this, but it’s certainly good news.

God bless America, indeed.

Fat Is Catching!! Say Very Smart Science-Type People

Well lookee here.

According to the New York Times, researchers have found that you’re much more likely to become obese if your close friends get fat.

Uh-oh!! I hope I haven’t infected anyone out there! But hey, think of the positive applications! For instance, my friend CW who is always trying to put on a few pounds… we should spend more time together! I’ll have him chubbed-up in no time!

Seriously, though, this article strikes me as incredibly hateful. It’s so fear-mongering, so obviously inconclusive, and so biased against the fat.

Did it ever occur to these researchers, for instance, that close friends often have the same ethnic background and personality type, and that it may be those factors rather than proximity that most influence the propensity toward obesity? In a similar vein, did it occur to these people that folks might BECOME friends largely (forgive the pun) because of a preference to socialize around food and drink, to consume extravagantly, and to share similar values (one of which might be not to care very much if they’re packing on the pounds)?

I know, I know. We fat people cost the nation katrillions of dollars in lost productivity because we’re so UNHEALTHY and despite the brilliant efforts of the medical community, we dare get diseases and DIE ANYWAY. It really bothers the docs, I’ll tell ya. Capitalism is really mad at us, too. It is now the #1 disgusting thing to be in America: fat.

As a Fat American, I’d like to share my own personal belief that there’s a stupidity epidemic in America right now that costs the nation a lot of money, and I’d like researchers to study that and the New York Times to write about the results. How much will the war in Iraq eventually cost us in lost revenues and in plain dollars, for instance? Do you think it’s more or less than the cost of keeping chunksters like myself on heart and cholesterol medication in our waning years?

How about the materialism epidemic going on? I’m worried about that, too. I might catch it from my neighbors. Should I make sure to spend time with non-materialistic people to balance the harm that might come to me from having intimate friendships with the very wealthy and acquisitive?

But hey, I’m sure this article will make the rounds and millions of people will evaluate their friendships. I’d like to thank this fine team of scientists for that. For every date people now make with one of their fat friends, many of them will make sure they balance it with a date with a slim person who most definitely, according to the implications of this article, has a MORE HEALTHY INFLUENCE ON THEM.

Bah. A clogged artery upon their house, and on the NY Times for that sensationalistic, obnoxious headline.

MLB All-Star Game

Can I just break genre for a moment to gripe about the All-Star Game last night on Fox?

My beefs:

It was scheduled to begin at 8 pm but we didn’t get started on the game until almost 9:00, due to a bunch of pre-game garbage.

The telecast was a mess: too many flash-backs and extraneous videos to be able to focus on the game. Fire that producer! We don’t need extensive footage of the guys in kayaks outside the park and their swimming dog, okay? We just want to watch the GAME.

Did Barry Bonds need to VELCRO himself to Willie Mays’ side in every shot of Mays? Yea, BB, we KNOW he’s your godfather. We still think you’re a juiced up disgrace to the game. Go away.

Was it not obvious to everyone that pretty much all the players had partied ’til 3AM the night before and were playing like a bunch of Keystone Cops? Why aren’t the sports writers covering this? How many errors should we reasonably expect to see at an MLB All-Star game, fer cryin’ out loud?? It’s one thing if the ball has a wicked spin on it and you’ve contorted yourself like Gumby in an effort to get your mitt around it and fail. It’s another thing entirely when the ball goes rolling by at about O miles per hour and you, hung-over at third base, watch it roll past your feet with an expression on your face like Homer Simpson thinking about donuts. GET THAT BALL, Son! That’s why you earn eleventy billion dollars a year!

Petty, but…what’s with those stupid sleeveless jerseys on the Pirates players? And Cardinals management, take a cue from the Orioles in how to design uniforms for bird-named teams that don’t look totally dorky. We know who you are. We don’t need the six inch red bird all over your shirt to make it more obvious. What’s next? Eye patches and big gold hoops for the Pirates?

AL Manager Jim Leyland, how could you KEEP FRANCISCO RODRIGUEZ ON THE MOUND FOR THAT LONG IN THE 9TH AFTER PULLING J.J. PUTZ AS FAST AS YOU DID? Do you care NOTHING for my coronary health?

Pride Theme: “Ask. Tell. Proud To Serve…”

I should add that the Pride Theme in Boston this year was controversial, because some saw it as a pro-military statement. As you can see from the website, it was not intended to be specifically about being out in the military but about g/l/b/t folk being out and integral in all walks of life. One woman was carrying a big sign that said, “Are you SURE your librarian is straight?” I thought that was great.

Still, I know of at least three people who stayed away out of protest, one grumbling that promoting “queer cannon fodder” was not his idea of Pride.

Please tell me I’m wrong about this, but I scanned the Boston Globe yesterday and didn’t see ONE WORD about Pride. I mean, heck, it was only attended by maybe tens of thousands of people, closing down downtown Boston for hours!! THAT’s not news!

And I must respectfully disagree with my dear friend Scott Wells about the “tacky” floats. I hope that Pride never becomes too staid and respectable. I hope it always maintains an element of heinie-shaking, outrageous, drag-queen striding, beads-throwing, raucous FABULOUSNESS. To me, the g/l/b/t community is our uptight, pornography-addicted, repressed, homophobic, misogynist society’s reminder that we are messy, flesh and blood BODIES. We are wild sexual beings who do not belong in categories and boxes, but in relationships and joyous, unapologetic incarnation of Who We Are!

Listen up: when I was a little girl and my parents were in the throes of an emotionally violent and miserable marriage, and my mother very much under the influence of some drug or another (mostly booze), my dad was an edgy workaholic maniac and my sister and brother and I were scared little ghosts in our house, do you know who it was that raised me? Inspired, inspiring, grounded, talented, loving, committed theatre and music homos who were there, day after day, providing a thrilling vision that I wanted to be part of, and who had the discipline, adult maturity and sense of responsibility that my OWN PARENTS LACKED. When my own parents were too unhealthy to show up for me, my music teachers were there EVERY day, sober, exacting and ready to work. My theatre director(s) was there EVERY night in the summer, guiding the cast and crew through weeks and weeks of rehearsals and into a triumphant opening night, giving us and the community the gift of fantastic theatre.

Yes, the gay boys in the theatre were flamboyant and yes, they were promiscuous — now that I think about it, why wouldn’t they be? Wouldn’t we ALL be, if society told us we were freaks and perverts and should never be LEGALLY or religiously allowed to marry and make a lifetime commitment? Think that little fact of broad societal disapproval might have anything to do with that? Dammit to hell!?

I hope the g/l/b/t community never, ever buttons up too much. When I see them out and out there — spiky-haired, bare-breasted women with fierce faces, gangly teens girls holding hands, boys in Speedos and Carmen Miranda headdresses doing the merengue on top a gaudy float, tranny babes teetering by on 6″ platforms, everything inside me hollers, “YES! YES! YES! TELL it! Bring it ON! Remind us all WHO WE ARE!”

My own two gay fathers, both serious classical musicians and life-long schoolteachers, would tsk at all the nonsense, but … the thing is, they’re just not as queer as I am.

Maybe The Devil Made Him Do It, But What’s Your Excuse, Lady?

Perhaps by now you’ve heard the story of the father who burned his 2-month old daughter in the hotel microwave? He claims that it was stress, but his supportive, loving wife says that it was Satan’s doing– that Satan was threatened by his efforts to become a minister or some such thing. She says that daddy LOVES his baby and would never hurt her. Well madam, don’t you get the Mother Of The Year Award?

“He’s the worst scum of the earth,” says the guy on this video, and there’s a refreshing clarity in that assessment, I’d say.

But of course, that would upset some UUs, who have this notion that “the inherent worth and dignity of every person” means that no matter what we do with our God-given freedom, we can never forfeit our essential and innate dignity.

Um, I’d say that microwaving your kid manages to do that pretty well, though. Of course this guy might be delusional and mentally ill, but what excuse can you make for the wife?

That was a rhetorical question, by the way. I’m really hoping no one writes in to talk about Dingbat Permissive Wife Syndrome or Pathologically Supportive Spouse Disease or anything like that. Because I’m sticking to my opinion that these two shouldn’t be trusted to take care of a schnauzer, let alone a child.

Poor, poor baby.

[I’m on my way to Nashville right now. This post was authored on 5/20/07 - PB]

Other Acronyms

What do you call those things like
LOL
and
ROFLMAO
and other on-line shorthand thingy-dingys?

Because I’m getting bored with the usual ones.

There’s WTF and JFC and OMG — and I’m not about to elaborate on those if you don’t know what they stand for.

But I’m thinking of adding:

LYLGFS (Love You Lots, Going For Sushi)
and
RLGJITS (Running Late, Gotta Jump In The Shower)
and possibly also
MMHLIT (Mama Mia, How Lame Is That?)
to my repetoire.

Other contenders include
GGMM (Good Golly Miss Molly)
and
IASLURN (I Am So Loving U Right Now)
or
SUSCW (See U Soon, Can’t Wait).

Then there’s
LHM (Lord Have Mercy)
and
TBTG (Thanks Be To God)
and
PTL (need I say?)
for the religious set.

Finally, we could add
GGNC (Gotta Go, Need Chocolate)
or
FAWIT (Falling Asleep While I Type)
and
PWS (Procrastinating Writing Sermon).

Would you like to nominate a few?