Bang Back! Contact PeaceBang

6 Responses to Bang Back! Contact PeaceBang

  1. Lisa Gaston says:

    So glad you came to Iowa. You made the conference for me. I look forward to learnin more from you on church audits! Lisa

  2. Sally Wilke says:

    One of your best ever, but HOW? Really? You put my feelings into words. Oops, guess that why its the best ever. So many rules, so many hoops, so little power. Relationships,relationships, relationships! What else you got to help me?

  3. Carlena Wike says:

    Loved your essay regarding the “guy on the street in Louisville”. Now I’m singing it!

  4. carol whitlow says:

    Your hippest holiday song video is no longer available. In keeping with your piece on website rant, please remove video link or tell us about it now that you’ve peaked our curiosity. BTW, I love your work! [thanks! Will do! Okay, the song is "We Wish You the Merriest the Merriest!" by Frank Sinatra. - PB]

  5. Ostara S. Hollyoak says:

    Thank you for “Curses! Foiled Again!” (February 2014). Well said.

    I grew up with “Thy will be done.” Throughout my early prayer life, this was a great way of acknowledging the relative smallness of my own perspective. In prayer, a little humility (or maybe a lot) is an essential ingredient.

    In later life, I came to use phrases common in witchcraft and pagan communities: “According to the free will of all and harming none;” “in accordance with the free will of all and for the highest good;” etc. I think of these kinds of phrases as similar to “thy will be done,” moved out of the monotheistic framework. Humility is essential to pagan practice, too, because, yes, “spells” (i.e., enacted prayers), as you say, *do* have real effects; and the exact nature of these effects & their impacts are not predictable by our (limited) minds. I’ve always found acknowledging my own limits in this way a good way to avoid “magical mishaps.”

    I’m a member of Channing MC in Ellicott City, Maryland. I’ve heard so much (always in a positive light) about you, but had never seen your blog. I’m glad I stumbled on this. [I'm glad you did, too! Thanks for writing! My love to you and the folks at CMC. - PB]

  6. Rev. Margaret Wallace says:

    I wanted to commend you on your comments regarding the Martin Copenhaver debacle. I am originally from Burlington VT, one of Martin’s former parish towns. I have a story about Martin (no I did not sleep with him but with one of his married congregants and it is Martin’s response to that situation that I will write about in a bit). I am also a former atheist/humanist who is now in recovery. I have never had a problem with the things I did in the past and in the past I was open about that which I was doing and why I was doing it. Bad behavior is something I engaged in but rarely would I embrace hypocrisy. I have owned my shit as much as I can but have also come to see that some of my behavior and actions hurt others which now matters very much to me. I changed quite a bit of my behavior, including no longer sleeping with married or otherwise attached men and women. About 6 years ago I became abstinent based on my burgeoning Buddhist and Hindu beliefs and those beliefs are that which ultimately led me to Christianity. I hope to be in a sexual/romantic relationship again though I don’t see myself getting married. I am a graduate of Duke Divinity School with a Master’s in Christian Studies and am now at Fordham’s Pastoral Care Master’s. I am Ordained in a Post Denominational Free Church. Why? Because it is wrong for me to claim to be able to uphold the Orthodoxy and Orthopraxy required by most Churches and I wanted to make an authentic commitment to a church. Too many Clergy think it is perfectly OK to lie about themselves in order to be Ordained. For example, I am abstinent though my church and my beliefs don’t require it while many of my colleagues and fellow seminarians are sexually active Clergy who are Ordained in denominations that prohibit such activity.

    On to Martin – In Burlington in the 1980′s I had a relationship with a married man who slept around a lot. His wife knew, we all knew and it was no big deal. He slept with women other than me. It was his thing and very 80′s. I did the same. I believed at the time that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing or I was doing or many of us were doing. The man decided to leave his wife (not for me but to pursue his lifestyle) and Martin, being his Pastor, called him into the Pastor’s office for counseling regarding his infidelities and encouraged him to stay married despite his taste for other women. I actually laughed when I found out Martin’s affair though it is not a laughing matter. It is serious business when a man spends an entire career perpetuating a set of ideals and imposing them on others and yet does not live into them himself. It is hypocrisy, it is some kind bullshit and yet it still renders Martin, and others like him, with the power and prestige of a Presidency of a Seminary. If anything lying and hypocrisy are the sins. I would be more OK with all this if he had been open about his life all along. At least he wouldn’t be a liar and a hypocrite. The are others who have genuinely lived into their ideals and resisted temptations and are thus more deservedly prepared for the leadership of a seminary. I get the whole forgiveness thing, the compassionate response, etc but I don’t think that rewarding a hypocrite and a liar is the right thing to do, particularly one that was held to a religious standard that he agreed to follow (covenant).

    People could say “Meg you did this and that and yet you are a Minister” to which I reply “yes I did do all those things but when I did them I was honest and didn’t have a problem doing them nor was I being a hypocrite or lying when I did them”. I didn’t preach sobriety when I was a junkie. I didn’t encourage monogamous sexual behavior in others because I didn’t believe in monogamy at the time. I didn’t extoll Christianity as the Way while I was living against the Way. So is stunning for me to recall Marin admonishing another man for his infidelities and rebuking his open, public lifestyle choices when Martin himself was an adulterer and liar. At least the man was honest with those around him not some sneaky loser who attacked the honest of another. Hubris comes to mind along with a greediness for it is greedy to think that you can have it both ways. You know what? I’d like to fuck plenty of people, some of whom are married but I don’t. And I certainly wouldn’t lie about it if I did and I wouldn’t give someone else the “monogamy and faithfulness in marriage speech.

    This may be a bit rambling but I am kind of pissed off and very disappointed. Having myself been a target of the ire of the congregation that he led because I was one of the women who apparently tempted his congregant away from Christian married life, I can only say wow. I remember reading the sermon that he gave his congregant regarding marriage and I was appalled then and am more appalled now at the audacity of Martin’s behavior. This is another example of a man doing exactly what he wanted to do while imposing a different standard of behavior on others and yet, still getting recognition and reward as though he had been living to the standard all along. WTF is all I can say.

    I applaud you for being vocal and strong in this circumstance. Thanks so much



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