Ellen submits a very interesting comment. She says,
Dear Peacebang, maven of all internet social media, there IS something about this “hot mess” I would love to hear your advice about, and now that you’ve broached the subject, perhaps you’ll indulge me!
So, I have been watching this “hot mess” and thinking about nasty church politics–you know, when there’s some hot conflict between some church leaders and some of them say things outside those meetings they should have saved for face-to-face private sessions and soon everybody has an opinion and there’s about 15 different stories about what happened (despite a membership of under 60), people are divided into camps, no one knows who to trust, and there’s rampant triangulation?
I’m sure you’ve been there or somewhere near it. I know the standard advice and have had some minor success in helping church leaders understand–go directly to the leader with your concerns, if you don’t find satisfaction follow the outlined appropriate process, but please do not triangulate and gossip.
So, my question is, how do we as dedicated and committed church folks use social media appropriately when our larger body starts dissolving into politics that feel very much like the above nasty church politics? Your post trying to bring some sanity has made room for discussion that is both useful (clarifying bylaw issues) and not so much. (e.g. I always question the word always 🙂 )
…
not doing or saying things, of course, does nothing to interfere with the easy way the internet serves as a fertility drug for wild gossip mongering, innuendo, and conspiracy theories. I would love to hear your advice on this conundrum!
Dear Ellen,
What a great question. And I have a response that isn’t at all wise but is certainly experienced and honest.
Social media is a brand new thing. Even the internet is a relatively Brand New Thing, and we have no idea yet how to use it as perfectly as we might, or as we ought. But I am hopeful.  Riffing on the great Theodore Parker quote, “the moral arc of the universe is long but it bends toward justice,” I would say that the moral arc of the internet will be long but I hope it will bend toward goodness. At least as it is used by religious communities. It will always be a space for the brutal expression of nasty, ignorant opinions on celebrity sites and such. But we are people who are trying to be in right relationship, and we ought to be asking the questions you’ve asked and working to use this technology well.
I remember when I first came into ministry 15 years ago we were all new at e-mail. And we freaked out about it almost daily. No one knew how to “read” each other without the inflection of a voice or the benefit of face-to-face interaction. Terse, get-‘er-done type e-mails were interpreted as rude. Some people over-shared and expected recipients to slog through pages of reflections on last night’s meeting; an abuse of others’ time and patience (I’m pointing at myself and going, “guilty as charged!” And I still do it!). We all had nightmare experiences of pressing “send all” when we meant to respond to only one person. We all made the mistake of trying to have important conversations via e-mail that had no business being attempted through such an impersonal medium. Another bad practice I remember was the expectation of instantaneous response to e-mail: parishioners in one of my former congregations would call the church office and say, “Where is Vicki? I sent her an e-mail 15 minutes ago and she hasn’t responded yet.”
It was nuts.
