Let me introduce myself. I am Max, the adorably small and tender dog of PeaceBang. Do not allow my preference for playing tug-of- war with a sock, peeing against old tree stumps, and jumping on counters deceive you. I am actually a highly sensitive and intelligent being, and I am amazed that some Unitarian Universalists and other religious people have made such unkind judgments and generalizations about me and my kind on this and other social networking sites in the past few days.
Beagles have inherent worth and dignity, human friends, and we are all individuals. I, for instance, have a particularly sweet temperament and yet I have been accused against all evidence to the contrary of being “hyper” and prone to obnoxious behaviors; all because I am of a particular breed of canine. I assure you that this kind of prejudice toward beagles has not gone unnoticed by the Department of Beagle Acceptance at our U.S. headquarters in Boston, where there have been daily expressions of concern regarding the surge in negative press about beagles since my adoption by PeaceBang and SweetieBang.
Remember, human friends, that love is greater than fear, and kibble is greater than all of these. Because it seems necessary to remind some of you of the proper etiquette regarding the adoption of canine companions, please know that the only appropriate response to the news that a human has taken one of us into their homes is “Congratulations!” or perhaps “Mazel tov!” We assure you that, as we are a grateful and generous breed, we beagles always express nothing more than a hearty “We hope you love your new home” when we learn that one of ours is going to spend their days with one of yours. Yes, we know that some humans are hyper and obnoxious, that you howl and are needy, and that many of you are quite destructive. Yet we would never dream of generalizing about your entire species and ask that extend the same consideration to all of us.
Beagles Are Beautiful!
Thank you for your time.
Hearts and bones,